And so on the very day the rest
of the world will be celebrating love, some bright sparks in Nigeria decided it
was the perfect day for the country’s two main political tribes to go to war.
Surprised? Well, not really, I guess. We are Nigerians after all and everything
we do must have our stamp of uniqueness and creativity.
In any event, if the Nigerian
Love Brigade is truly unhappy and the female demographic rises up, sufficiently
raising the protest decibels and demanding their bouquets and chocolate, our
matchlessness also means our government (maybe as an election sweetener) could
actually postpone Valentine’s Day.
Don’t laugh, you know it’s
possible. Stranger things have definitely happened in our beloved land.
Before we move on, let me confirm
the sole intention of this piece is to get the salient points of Nigeria 2015 elections
and to do it with brevity as the watchword. I am not going to attempt to
compete with anyone on word-count or give a lengthy sermon to the converted. Charles Soludo has easily won the trophies in both categories.
Furthermore, the majority of the people casting their vote on that day will not have read his well-researched, but extensive thesis. For me, the issues on ground are hardly that complicated and one doesn’t need a PhD to see through the smoke and mirrors. With this in mind, best to get back to the elections and the resultant matters.
Furthermore, the majority of the people casting their vote on that day will not have read his well-researched, but extensive thesis. For me, the issues on ground are hardly that complicated and one doesn’t need a PhD to see through the smoke and mirrors. With this in mind, best to get back to the elections and the resultant matters.
Let us start from the beginning.
For those of you who may live
under a rock somewhere and for others who have not been bothered to date, the
two elephants fighting over the Nigerian grass would be the People’s Democratic
Party (PDP) and the All Progressives Congress (APC). Of course, there are other
baby elephants involved, but why mention them, when it appears Nigerians have
conveniently decided these calves do not even exist.
Who is who?
The Gladiators
On the one hand, we have Goodluck Ebele Jonathan (GEJ),
the incumbent, and on the other, you have the APC candidate, General Muhammadu
Buhari (GMB). Both candidates have already led the nation in one guise or the
other. Buhari, for twenty months between December 1983 and August 1985, on the
back of a military coup that saw the overthrow of the Shehu Shagari government
and Jonathan, for the last fifty-five months having succeeded the previous
president, Umaru Yar'Adua (Late).
So, with the abridged history
lesson out of the way, there is only one question at the top of everyone’s
list.
Who will win?
Who should we go for?
I would hate to be the one who elected (pun intended) to raise the collective blood
pressure of members of either party, so I will hold my predictions for a little
while longer. Instead, let’s ask another burning question on millions of
Nigerian lips.
Well, I don’t know where the majority are, but for the
silent minority (and yes, we are millions too) like me – who have chosen to
keep quiet until now – we do not believe there is any real choice out there.
All we see is a two-headed snake, with one head being marginally less venomous
than the other.
We, in this group, naturally recoil on sighting snakes, so our natural position is to be cautious, alert and stay at a safe distance. You cannot blame us. We are still reeling from the Creation story, but, no one should mistake our distance for apathy. We can still see it all from our sanctuary and yes, we are riveted.
We, in this group, naturally recoil on sighting snakes, so our natural position is to be cautious, alert and stay at a safe distance. You cannot blame us. We are still reeling from the Creation story, but, no one should mistake our distance for apathy. We can still see it all from our sanctuary and yes, we are riveted.
From our view over here, we find little comfort in a
sitting president who appears to believe kneeling before pastors and speaking
from the pulpit in crowded churches, will somehow transform him into a
strident, forthright and performing leader, which is what Nigerians require,
but sadly do not have. We cannot quite tell which is more painful; the leader
floundering in the darkness looking for the light, or the nation stuck in the
darkness, having to watch the drama unfold with their candles, lanterns and
diesel cash-guzzlers.
We are equally uneasy with a presidential candidate who says
things like;
“It is a legal
responsibility which God has given us, within the context of one Nigeria, to
continue to uphold the practice of Sharia wholeheartedly and to educate
non-Muslims that they have nothing to fear…"
"What remains for Muslims in Nigeria is for them to redouble their efforts, educate Muslims on the need to promote the full implementation of Sharia law…."
This is fine if you are an Imam (or even the average
Muslim minding his or her own business), but not when you are wishing to occupy
the top position, overseeing a country with over 70 million non-Muslims. Also, when
someone of Buhari’s record tells me there is “nothing to fear,” that is the
time I begin to tremble with certain trepidation. To be blunt, we will prefer anyone
who wants to rule us, to leave religion out of the electoral process and just
give us solid and viable plans for good governance. It’s not a Christian/ Muslim
thing….it’s a Nigeria thing.
We know Mahatma Gandhi said;
"Those who say religion has nothing to do
with politics do not know what religion is."
But still, we are confident he
didn't have this modern-day Nigeria - where insensitive leaders conveniently
forget our secularism - in mind. Our advice will be for anyone who wants our
votes, to keep the Koran and Bible out of our faces and stop hiding behind God.
We may not be as religious as you, but we at least hope God will not protect
incompetents. Besides, no matter the reassurances they may have obtained from
their pastor or imam, we doubt anyone can bribe their way to paradise. On the
day of judgement, we are relatively certain it will just be you and your
creator. So, please in the name of God, stop.
Of course, the chutzpah of these
politicians is sometimes created from events that surround us all. In a country
where a keenly followed “man of God” has promised to “open up the gates of Hell
on the president’s foes,” why are we puzzled when the average corrupt politician,
believes he or she can open up the gates of Heaven and enter with a clear
conscience?
Moving on swiftly, we cannot see
how the incumbent, Goodluck Jonathan, can seriously justify staying on for
another four years in the face of our country turning into the laughing stock
of the world, whilst his ardent supporters bombard use with sterile indices
showing Nigeria’s economy growing by 7% over the next blah years.
Excuse me, but those in the know have been predicting the same statistic - along with Nigeria’s economy someday outstripping that of South Africa - way before your man came into power. Our advice will be for the president's followers to confront him on his woeful record on corruption and his penchant for surrounding himself with such poor advisers. The buck stops at your man's desk, so get him to do what leaders do...lead or get out of the way.
Excuse me, but those in the know have been predicting the same statistic - along with Nigeria’s economy someday outstripping that of South Africa - way before your man came into power. Our advice will be for the president's followers to confront him on his woeful record on corruption and his penchant for surrounding himself with such poor advisers. The buck stops at your man's desk, so get him to do what leaders do...lead or get out of the way.
As for the other side, we, unlike the fervent millions
pushing the Buhari ticket can’t see how his government can be incorruptible or
attempt to probe anyone, when the very people who are financially springing him
to power, have, shall we say “questionable” public service records. How anyone
believes Buhari will be anything more than a figure-head, is still utterly
befuddling to us. Do Buhari fans understand how much money will be spent to get him to the Rock? Do they know the source of those funds?
Have they even bothered to do the mathematics, before giving the General their unshaken support? The mind boggles...
Have they even bothered to do the mathematics, before giving the General their unshaken support? The mind boggles...
These GMB enthusiasts have sole reserve of our incredulity for they have conveniently
forgotten this particular job at Abuja, requires a skill-set their renowned inflexible
candidate (this will not be a military setting) may not possess. We of course pray for the best, as we have to concede Buhari has evidently softened over the years, or how else
would he, Tinubu and Atiku be convenient bedfellows? How else could someone
like Senator Yerima (he of the child-bride fame), be on Buhari’s presidential campaign
committee? We could go on, but Brevity restrains us, as we continue to hope against all hope.
We, against all hope,
pray our electorate is aware Nigeria’s foremost issue is a Lack of Leadership,
because we can see the gaping hole created by a dearth of individuals prepared
to knuckle down and inspire Nigerians to believe in and contribute positively to
the creation of a better land. We know the requisite structure and culture just
doesn't exist, because we have refused to copy the examples of countries like
Singapore and Indonesia - two countries that more or less dragged their
nationals out of the Third World pile, right before our eyes – instead, we have
actually started to see the our hole become a grotesque gorge of hopelessness
and resigned apathy.
We wish we could have a Vladimir
Putin Jonathan or Vladimir Putin Buhari for the next four years and at least,
be frank with ourselves on the type of person we have in charge. A laconic individual,
who is clearly very knowledgeable about his country, has a good grasp of her
foes and friends (foreign and domestic) and also possesses an iron,
nationalistic will to see his country prosper and not be left behind. An
undeniable patriot, who though flawed, is driven by a passionate belief in the
supremacy of his country. A person who Boko Haram know gives them only two
options, when they attack his people; a one-way ticket to their maker or a
lifetime in hell.
Of course we realise this is a flight of fantasy, so, we grudgingly accept Buhari
and Jonathan are all we realistically have for now and a choice has to be made.
But yet, we wonder why a country of 160 million plus, has refused to carve out
her identity, but instead has blindly followed the Democratic / Republican
model, which is clearly throwing that icon of democracy into bureaucratic
chaos. We can’t really understand why Nigerians have decided to totally ignore
the other candidates. Yes, they genuinely may not have a chance, but at least
one or two of them should be able to join the national debate.
You will be surprised the quality of the “between the lines” detail that a third or fourth candidate brings to the table. If in doubt, ask David Cameron and Gordon Brown about a certain Nick Clegg or draw some inspiration from the electoral shift, away from the traditional political parties in Europe.
You will be surprised the quality of the “between the lines” detail that a third or fourth candidate brings to the table. If in doubt, ask David Cameron and Gordon Brown about a certain Nick Clegg or draw some inspiration from the electoral shift, away from the traditional political parties in Europe.
Finally, we really hope Nigerians have a cunning plan and
just want to exploit the fervency of the Buhari factor, to knock Jonathan from
his perch and then a few years down the line; exert their electoral muscles and
take out the General and his political soldiers. You never know….we Nigerians
remain ingenious like that. In fact, this is the scenario we pray is playing
out in front of us, as we look on and laugh.
We rest.
So, really, who will win?
Well, the same people who always
win. The same group that have been winning since 1960, and have positioned
things in such a way, as to ensure whichever snake-head shows up, they, have
enough anti-venom to contain the situation for their own benefit. If you are
wondering who these people are, well, don’t strain your cerebral Rolodex on our
behalf. We will help you.
The group rarely grows past twenty in number and their clout within their setting, is determined on natural causes like death, sickness and finally, on whom they have allowed to inhabit the seat of power. They are all male, arguably the only true Nigerians – as in, they know the country inside out and unlike most of us, have cultural, political and familial connections that defy creed, religion or tribe – and are individually, sufficiently ruthless and benevolent in equal measure.
If you require more assistance in
compiling the list, I will go as far as to advise you the most visible - yes,
some have to be shadowy - of the collective, have acronymic monikers with three
characters permanently branded on the brain of most Nigerians. What else do you
expect after five decades of oppression and ensuing trauma?
Oh, we shouldn't forget America.
She wins too. Any which way Nigeria goes, America just magically happens to
come up trumps. Must be something in the Rivers Niger and Benue.
Final verdict of Nigeria Elections 2015
Credits
1. Cartoon courtesy of Mike Asukwo (+234 802 3462978)
2. Charles Soludo article courtesy of Vanguard Newspapers
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