As the G20 summit turns the centre of London into something resembling a war zone, and most city workers are dressing down to blend in and not become moving targets for the anarchist movement, I find myself chilling at home with no such worries. I am sipping some beautiful red wine supplied by the ever-reliable Tunde Iyowu, and selfishly engaged in the exercise of trying to answer a reoccuring question; why is Nigeria not involved?

For those who might not be aware, the G-20 (more formally, the Group of Twenty Finance Ministers and Central Bank Governors)is a group of finance ministers and central bank governors from 20 economies: 19 of the world's largest national economies, plus the European Union (EU)....Collectively, the G-20 economies comprise 85% of global gross national product, 80% of world trade (including EU intra-trade) and two-thirds of the world population. So I guess that definitely leaves out Nigeria there then....

Besides, when you go to the G20 website (yes, I know I am sad! It is research you see.), it tells us how the countries were chosen; "In a forum such as the G-20, it is particularly important for the number of countries involved to be restricted and fixed to ensure the effectiveness and continuity of its activity. There are no formal criteria for G-20 membership and the composition of the group has remained unchanged since it was established. In view of the objectives of the G-20, it was considered important that countries and regions of systemic significance for the international financial system be included. Aspects such as geographical balance and population representation also played a major part."

Call me cynical, but doesn't the above read like those reports certain people get when their boss never intends to promote them. You can just tell you are not wanted; "Lara is a brilliant worker who inspires all her colleagues with her sunny outlook. She will continue to be valuable in her current position as a rallying point for office unity." Now, let's decode; "Lara does a good job, but she is not exceptional. Although, one cannot ignore her ability to crack jokes and make everyone laugh, this is the only reason why we keep her here."

It's brilliant, isn't it? Just like the club that writes out its manifesto and calls itself inclusive, but then goes on to state how it would want members with common goals, beliefs and background! I don't think the G20 want a distraction like Nigeria, even if she qualified to join. I bet there are 'Nigeria is not here' parties at the beginning of the conferences! Okay, I went too far, but what else would I think, when we were not even invited to the G33 summit.....Ivory Coast was called instead! I did it again, didn't I?

Nigeria is worthy, but we just do not qualify to join the group. It's like university days, when people grieved because the latest ultra-exclusive club rejected their application. It's human nature I guess. Rejection and non-inclusion always gives rise to paranoia and a sense of inferiority complex....Am I not good enough? Why do they want her and not me? He doesn't even dress as good as I do...blah, blah, blah.

So, how does Nigeria join this most exclusive of clubs? Hmmmm.....I guess probity, accountability and transparency, which will in turn lead to improved and increased productivity, which will in turn enlarge the economy and give us that all important purchasing power parity That's it! All done!

And if that fails, we can start our own group with the likes of Guatemala!