How the West could take over Nigeria (2/2)

So, here we are in 2011 and as if we haven’t got enough problems to deal with, we are now the inevitable focus of Western governments – who if the truth was known, never really took their their eyes off us anyway – due to our increasing pariah status and penchant for all things bad. 

The money-laundering, the tales of 419 emails and drug-trafficking status that has been donned upon us globally is clearly too dull for our voracious appetite for self-destruction. We are clearly not content with being on every negative index drawn up by our so-called Western allies; we are now dabbling in terrorism.

In a country where the copycat attitude is prevalent and everyone wants to outdo each other, an introduction of any new negative trends has to be something of concern for our leaders and citizens alike. Today, it’s the Police HQ in Abuja; tomorrow, how do we know it will not be our airports, hotels, night clubs and cinemas? After all, these are the types of targets we have been informed are the chosen aim of Boko Haram and their frenzied accomplices.

What would we do if a reign of terror begins to rise through the length and breadth of our country? Is it beyond the realms of possibility that marginalised groups like the Delta militants could introduce the suicide option into their repetoire? 

And if this is the case, what actions are our people in Aso Rock taking to forestall the coming storm?

I only ask, because if the Nigerian governing elite is not coming up (and be seen to be coming up) with a robust strategy, you can be rest assured our Western ‘friends’ are already in an advanced stage with their analysis and you can be even more rest assured, that none of their entry or exit strategies will be drawn up for the benefit of Nigeria.

Call me cynical, but recent history backs me up to the hilt and I am not aware of many Nigerians who want our beloved country to resemble Iraq, Afghanisthan or Libya! 

Can you imagine house to house searches in the middle of the night, by occupying armies of people who look nothing like us and understand us even less? So, if there is a time to prepare to mobilise our vanguard to secure our territory….the time is now.

In these times of vicious economic adjustments, every sector known to man is cutting costs and doing everything they can to generate revenue and believe me when I state that no sector is as chilling in reaching its goals than the Western Intelligence community.

With its shadow perpetually cast across Africa at the best of times, the principal stakeholders are already in the genesis of negotiations on how to provide us with their wonderful ‘complete security’.

Spurious security units like those operating in Iraq, with their ridiculous names like Black Watch, could import their dubious operations to our cities and towns under the guise of providing protection to the highest bidders and chaos can truly begin to reign supreme.

Of course they are those of you who will read this and remain in the ‘Nigerians are not suicide bombers’ camp, and judging by Mutallab’s foolish ‘bomb in pants’ venture,  you may be justified.  

We may be advanced in other dubious areas, but agreeing to place the bomb in one’s underpants, especially when most martyrs dream of their 72 maidens in heaven, doesn’t exactly inspire confirmation that this is our area of expertise.

But on a serious note, the main weapon of these disenfranchised groups is their supposed impotence, but we should join never underestimate the likes of Boko Haram and their seemingly disjointed foot soldiers. 

For history shows us what occurred when the CIA and FBI, despite warnings from the likes of David Philip Schippers, declared Al-Qaeada had no capacity to inflict any domestic terrorist act in the US. 

Earlier in 2000, he had received some information from two FBI agents, who warned of an imminent terrorist attack in New York. They were so confident about their intelligence; they went as far as givng the names of the terrorists and their source of funding…..incredible, right? 

And yes, you have guessed it, despite several attempts by Schippers to contact the Attorney-General of the day and various federal officials, he too was completely ignored. Well, not completely, he did get one reply…..a Justice Department official replied stating; 

“We don’t start our investigations from the top.”

Well, I hope our investigations at the top are well underway, because if we nod off for a single moment, by the time we come to some form of conciousness, our country will be in the hands of foreign powers once more and by that time;

‘The labours of our heroes past will definitely be in vain.’

Also published at:
http://www.dailytimes.com.ng/blog/how-west-could-take-over-nigeria-22

How the West could take over Nigeria (1/2)

In late 2009, I was jollifying in one of my usual Lagos spots, when, as it often is in these gatherings, the subject gradually veered from the trivialities of whether Agbani Darego is as pretty as Helen Prest; which tastes better; Star or Gulder. To the considerably chunkier issues of the day like - is Lamido Sanusi the real deal, or a Mujahideen in disguise?

Is GEJ capable of the guile required to manoeuvre his way to the Presidency or will his good luck finally run out?  You can imagine the variety of emotions you are bound to witness in such an assembly.

But as convention entails in these types of situations, there will always be the awkward period when necks become decorated with veins and handkerchiefs make several appearances, despite the efficient air-conditioning units happily blasting away in the background.  

I guess my stating that suicide bombing would soon become the staple trademark of the politically disenfranchised in Nigeria was not exactly subtle or demanding of a gentle reaction. As with most topics I raise when I am in the company of my cerebral ‘Naija Posse,’ it was designed to provoke, irritate and eventually inspire discourse. 

And boy did it just do exactly what I desired....

The first person to go for my proverbial jugular was an old school mate of mine (for this article, we will call him Nnamdi). An accountant by trade, Nnamdi was never lacking when ‘coming forward’ was the requisite character trait. 

Blessed with a special brand of unwavering confidence, fuelled by a successful career to date and an unhealthy self-belief, he never knew when he lost arguments.

“All you London boys are full of imaginative theories. So you believe Nigerians will kill themselves because of this country? You have seriously disappointed me with your position on this one. I guess the years outside this country have started to affect you.”

The slap-down was quite emphatic and aside from one other person within the gathered group of ten, the derision for my take on the issue was overwhelming and consistently acerbic.

After one hour of such a one-sided verbal pummelling, I must admit I began to experience moments of doubt as to the efficacy of my position. But I was driven on by my belief of what I had garnered from some determined eavesdropping from a few years before:

Al-Qaeda and its affiliate terror groups were putting together plans for using Nigeria as their international communications hub!

In theory, of course I lost the argument that night, but two years later and a few suicide bombings to boot, all of a sudden; I have been transformed from crazy alarmist to someone who might actually have a pulse on the political direction of Nigeria. 

A conciliatory text, from one of the baying crowd of that fateful episode, did arrive, but yes, you've guessed it.....nothing from Nnamdi.

The Necessary End....

Funny thing; death.

It is certain and yet, as unpredictable as the female of the species. Actually, I will withdraw the latter half of that sentence, as I am not in a hurry to prove the former half. Seriously though, why does death always have to come knocking? What is the big thirst that it quenches, when it literally quenches us one by one? Why can’t it just bugger off and leave us alive? And can someone tell me what is the deal with sparing the bad and the ugly, whilst the beautiful and good get chopped in their prime? Why does the Grim Reaper leave us the likes of Mugabe, whilst the likes of Thomas Sankara are cruelly taken from us? Why take Michael, Luther, Barry, Aliyah and leave us Lil Kim and Lil Wayne?! Ooops...went too far with that last part, right?

Seriously though, I wonder where you stand. Are you of the Mark Anthony (or is it Shakespeare) school of a necessary end? Necessary end indeed! What is so necessary about it? How necessary is it that loved ones get mowed down with terminal disease and medical complications or as it is in some cases, just get mowed down full stop? How necessary is it that young children, women and men have to spend what began as a full life, in loneliness and misery. I don’t know about you, but if I had a way to avoid it, I would. Be honest, people. You work hard all your life and just when you want to start reaping your harvest, what happens?

Personally, I am a student of the Nigerian School of Life, which states quite clearly that all death is the devil’s handiwork! Whether the deceased is newborn, young, middle aged or wrinkled, Satan is responsible! It is not misplaced in Nigeria that when an old man dies, his old widow is ridiculed as the guilty witch. Nigerians are so anti-death, that the evangelicals amongst us spend countless hours every day screaming ‘I will not die! No weapon fashioned against me shall prosper!’

Call it positive thinking, but when you consider some of the real dangers Nigerians have to outmanoeuvre on a daily basis; I think the chants might actually be working. In Nigeria there is no such thing as an unexplained death. Died suddenly? Unexpectedly slept in the Lord and the piece de resistance; passed away peacefully?

Please pull the other one!

And for those who still believe death is a necessary end, can we have a show of hands please, anyone who will like to pass away peacefully right now?

It Comes to us All!

Calpurnia:

"When beggars die there are no comets seen;
The heavens themselves blaze forth the death of princes."

Julius Caesar (II, ii, 30-31)


In the wake of the MJ tragedy that has shaken the world to its foundations, a good friend and supporter of this blog, sent me the above quote. He asked if I could incorporate it into one of my entries to temper the dark mood of the last few days. So, here is my feeble effort to that end.

Trust me, death is a confusing and debilitating phenomenon. It will test you to your limits and give you the impression that it is indeed; like a thief in the night, but of course, the truth is slightly different....death is all around us and in the end, it is only when it snatches from us that we convince ourselves that it is light or sticky fingered. As someone who lost a sister less than 7 months ago(she was only 33!), I am more than aware of the anguish and confusion that accompanies the flower-bringing, but perhaps this latest universal loss is my opportunity to connect with the resulting captive audience and review certain realities about life:

1. Some people will cry more when a celebrity dies, than they will for their own blood!

2. Just like we are all born, one day, we will all die.

3. Once in a while, God sends us individuals that help us to appreciate his Majesty, Grace and Mystery.

4. Everyone is a star, but those that burn brightest, eventually expire quickest - hence the saying; the good die young! I know Mandela and Mother Theresa bucked the trend, but there it is ;-)

5. Death and Life are twins! Unidentical, but twins the same....

6. If we really connect with our maker, we will not query, when death comes calling.

7. A life of 20 years, could actually be more beneficial and purposeful, than that of 70.

8. We never know where the next MJ, Bob Marley or Elvis is coming from, so we learn to encourage spotted talent everywhere we see it.

9. That talent in question could be your child, friend, spouse, sibling or neighbour.

10. As one door closes, another one opens. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh.....

End of!

The Eastern Promise....

I have to admit last week turned out to be very interesting, especially on the back of the blog entry relating to the Igbos and the Nigerian Presidency. As I was keeping up with the fallout on Facebook, I was also having telephone conversations and the amount of people who don't want you to know what they are really thinking is scary! Word of no lie, a long-time Igbo friend, went as far as to say; 'my friend no one will admit to this, but we don't see ourselves as part of Nigeria! People will never tell you that we see the country as expirable(?) and pretty soon too!'

Now, that blew my mind, but that was probably down to my being Yoruba and shamefully, not knowing as much as I ought to have known about the Igbo history. Theirs is an irrepressible and dynamic culture, that some say reflects their ancestry which can be traced back to the Jews!!! Well, I am not that hot in history, but I do acknowledge the ability of the Igbo to do exactly what the Jew has done all through history - leave home and prosper in some distant land. Their ability to adapt and tough it out is legendary, and their history is littered with moments of severe loss, both human and otherwise, in those foreign environments.

Right, I am not certain that my friend's words were 100% accurate, but I am aware that the scar of the Civil War is permanent on the Igbo psyche (You don't get it? Read Half of a Yellow Sun - Ngozi brought it home!), much like the Holocaust is on the Jews. Although, I cannot on the basis of his comments, which he claims is 99% representative of Igbos (I found that hard to believe, as Igbos definitely don't have a herd mentality, but then neither do the Jews except on the Holocaust!) decide that the future of Nigeria is in the balance, but I can bear witness that my friend's parting words which did leave me cold;

"Look Castro, no Igbo man will thank you for bringing up this issue. If one of us goes forward to contest for the Presidency, we will never vote for him en masse. We prefer to vote for the Hausa or Yorubas. Na dem get the country, we just dey tag along until the thing finish!'


Personally, I want to believe he's in the Minority......or is there a little of him in every Nigerian?

Of gods and men...

On the back of my blog entry yesterday and several hours of telephone conversation, it seems the issue of power in Nigeria remains as clouded as ever.

What clearly stood out in the feedback, was the variance in the individuals considered to be the nation's most powerful people and why. I was always(naively) of the opinion that certain obvious individuals would make the top ten, but imagine my surprise when someone mentioned Rtd General Wushishi in her top three!

Before you start laughing, please consider that the contributor of that brain-bender, is someone who enjoys that rarified air, reserved for those whose families have been richly involved in all things Nigeria post 1960.

It did take me a few minutes to close my mouth, but I regained composure enough to ask how IBB was not on her list. Now, that I found astonishing! Perhaps, I do not know much about this country that I keep rabbitting on about.

My flab was to be further gasted when an 'uncle' of mine insisted Henry Okah, the imprisoned leader of MEND, was in his top ten! His inclusion of Okah (who just happens to be my old school mate from FGCL) convinced me that it was quite possible that people had begun to confuse Power and Influence.

A point that I put to my uncle.....his reply was lightning quick; 'There is no difference. They are identical twins!'

For the record, this is my top five:

1. Sultan of Sokoto
2. IBB
3. OBJ
4. James Ibori (surprised?)
5. Umaru Yar'adua

I guess when it is all said and done, it's all done to opinion. I will be glad to see your list.....

The Fela Prophecy.......

I have often been a participant in discussions focused on the topic of whether Nigeria is governable.

These forums like most things Nigerian, rarely end with concensus, as most contributors are themselves cycnical about the concept of 'One Nigeria' and all things that point to a robust nation. Rather, it seems to be an entrenched belief in the mind of most that we are unsuccessfully forging an uneasy union of regions, which are ostensibly nations in their own right. Let's for just a minute take this to be the case, are we then saying federations are inexecutable and as such a myth? Or are we just saying the Nigerian federation is the myth?

Yes, it is self-evident that the subject matter is sensitive, but is there any credence to it? For it is accepted that most things worth fighting for, often demand a high degree of risk and inevitably, sacrifice. The risk to ask the unaskable and the sacrifice of possibly being slaughtered (hopefully, just by print and verbal exchanges) in the process.

Is it true that the very foundation of the Nigeria we know and love today, is suspect and based on cycnism? Did the British really advise the Northern leaders to enlist their subjects heavily in the armed forces to counteract the evident academic and natural resource superiority that existed in the South or is this just a figment of the imagination of conspiracy theorists? Is it also the case that the stiff upper-lip cabal led by Lord Lugard, recognised the natural ability of the Northerner to rule and decided it would be beneficial to the continuum of HM's Empire economic royalties, if their 'natural' allies kept political power north of the River Niger and Benue? Were they really forewarned of the possibility of Southern secession and advised to do all within their means to quash it? Did these things really happen? Is it a mammoth myth that Sir Ahmadu Bello, the then Sardauna of Sokoto and great, great-grandson of the revered, Usman Dan Fodio, visibly snubbed all Sandhurst recruits of Southern Nigerian origin, to the benefit of their Northern counterparts, on a state visit to the celebrated millitary school? Or is this another great white lie?

In the end, what does it take to rule an anomaly like Nigeria? Is it a country that is eternally remote-controlled from outside our shores or is it an entity that can only be directed by ultra-powerful indigenes? If the latter is the case, could this be the reason why the likes of Obasanjo, managed to make some headroad in terms of reversing some of Nigeria's destructive brain drain and recruiting the likes of Dr. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala to join the crew navigating the creaky vessel, whilst our current President is struggling to even implement a re-branding campaign?

Politically, did OBJ's time as a millitary Head of State give him access to the true corridors of power an as such an advantage over UYD, who just happens to come from one of the most inluential political families in the North (actually, Nigeria as a whole)? Where does the real power lie? Is IBB the most powerful man in Nigeria, or is it still the Sultan of Sokoto (although, Abacha's treatment of Dasuki must have shaved some clout)? If indeed OBJ and IBB are two of the most powerul men in Nigeria, how come they couldn't solve the power crisis or is the continuation of such crisis, at the very heart of 'holding on to power' in our dear country? Don't look so surprised, I am sure you must have heard this mooted before!!! Will God's command to 'let there be light,' illuminate, expose and ultimately stiffle the real captains of our leadership?

Well, it is an idutiable fact that all things done in darkness, will eventually be revealed in the light and even though we remain uninformed, unaware and basically kept 'in the dark,' someone somewhere, knows the truth and to paraphrase Fela;

'One day go be one day......'