The Monster in your Hand!!!

Saw this incredibly educative info-graphic on the proliferation of mobile devices and just had to share (all permissions given). I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

We will get back to blogging proper on Friday.....I got some gist for you. In the meantime, please Enjoy:

Source: Media Creation; Unchained infographic

As we say on my side of town; END OF!

White Smoke, Black Pope and Red Shoes?

As Peter Turkson of Ghana leads the odds (3/1) for becoming the next Papal father with almost every bookmaker in town, is it time for us to begin to imagine the unthinkable?

A Turkson spoof poster in front of the Papal Basilica of Saint Mary Major in Rome 

Let's be honest with each other, a Black pope is even a bigger deal than having a Black US president. As Barack Obama once attested to....a piece of paper which was passed to him during his inauguration confirmed what he has always believed: the pope is one of the 3 most powerful people in the world. Obama was informed the US president is Number 4!

I bet you want to know the other 2.....not telling. You will have to read this blog religiously and I will bless you with that info.

In any case, by that power list calculation, we may be about to have two people with black blood in the Top 4 for the first and last time ever! I am confident this fact  will not be lost on the Sistine-resident Conclave, as they possess members with the most detailed encyclopedic mental rolodexes.

Besides, appointing a pope is serious business and the Italians, being big in serious business will push as much as possible against the first negroid African pope (yes, the previous three all had Caucasian features!). That's why I fear Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone being the next ranked favourite, leaves me fearing for Turkson's chances.

But seriously....a Black Pope? Can you imagine the Italian gangster movies now having to avoid using words like; Mulignan and Moolie? Haha...now that will be interesting. We'll probably get a few people 'crossing the carpet' to other Christian groups and any Tea Party Catholics will just feel their world has ended....tee hee.

I must say though, the whole Vatican hulaboo has opened my eyes to many things. I now know my Catholic friends are actually a more prickly bunch than I initially thought, although with so many Irish faithful within their ranks, I suppose their collective sense of humour is still guaranteed for decades to come.

And if anyone had any doubts about the intact sense of humour, enter Cardinal Dolan (American-Irish member of the conclave - himself 33/1), who reassured us earlier this week on CNN's Amanpour,  that the papal red shoes were not a Prada creation:

"The Devil might have worn Prada.....but not this pope."

Papal shoemaker Adriano Stefanelli, with red loafer as worn by H.H. Pope Benedict XVI 

In my modest opinion, any movement that is led by someone who wears red shoes is clearly not worried about outside critique.

So the battle (sorry, the voting) begins soonest and a word of warning for the brothers and sisters out there...loads of people have been named favourite and went on to lose out. As Cardinal Barragan of Mexico once said:

"He who enters the conclave as a possible pope, comes out a cardinal."

Of course there are some entertaining odds for those who have more money than sense:

Oprah - 2000/1

Berlusconi - 2500/1

Mario Balotelli - 5000/1

Hey, don't laugh. Stranger things have happened, right? I mean who knew Benedict XVI would go out like that?!

A Deficit of Comprehension

Some things are always going to baffle us as human beings.

Invariably, it is our level of natural tolerances which will most likely dictate how puzzled we become when faced with things we consider conundrums. In other words, one person's befuddlement, is another person's incident of clarity.

For instance, I will always be baffled that the US strikes potential terrorist threats with drones, yet, HSBC which has been found to have laundered money for terrorist networks gets a $1 billion hand-slap (you can only guess how much the bank laundered in total). I am even more baffled when you find out that Nima Ali Yusuf, a Somali woman living in the US, who was found guilty of sending $1,450 to members of the terrorist group, Al-Shabaab, was sentenced to 8 years in prison. 

And yet we wonder (another thing that baffles me) why most people out there believe in the existence of  The Illuminati and a 'them' and 'us' world order.

The disparity in the two aforementioned terrorist financing cases is clear and needs no amplification, but for those of you who might not be aware of the scale and depth of HSBC's complicity, I add the Senate Report for your consumption. That should suffice, in case you had any doubts. Oh, just to further clarify, no one went to jail for HSBC's crimes.

Readers of this blog will know I will forever be flabbergasted by Oscar Pistorius' contention that he heard noises in his bathroom, but somehow did not check on his beloved girlfriend before going to confront the intruder.

But then, maybe I have a personality flaw....maybe I find it hard to trust people.

So I reached out to my environment and wondered what baffled others around me. I ventured out with a leading question: what is going on in the world today that absolutely baffles you?

A stranger whom I met at a flea market, wondered why pedophilia crimes do not attract the death penalty. Why should these people be imprisoned and allowed to live off the state, when they had defiled the most vulnerable in society, he asked. He went on to posit a day will come, when pedophiles will be able to go to court to successfully argue for their rights to be sexually attracted to children. He was puzzled as to why the rest of us couldn't see these things. He was positively baffled.

But then, maybe he had a personality flaw....maybe he is too emotional.

A friend with a history of radicalism, wondered why Israel was not considered an Apartheid state in the light of its treatment of Palestinians. She admitted to being baffled that whilst the world community is comfortable with the Jewish State's nuclear capabilities, it remains resolute that the likes of Iran and North Korea do not ascend to such heights. She swore to be being permanently perplexed with the world's inaction when Israel almost single-handedly propped up the Apartheid government in South Africa, in contravention of the common global direction.
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But then maybe she has a personality flaw....maybe she is overly sensitive.

A lone street protester, defying the ambient freeze and screaming at the top of his voice. He seemed baffled as to how big companies get away with tax evasion and yet we send untold amount of individuals to jail, for the same thing. His placard had a few comparisons, but I guess naming names is no longer necessary....they can all smell the coffee and hear the phones ringing now. As he ranted (positively) on and laid out the essence of his case, it became clear this was a very baffled man, who was clearly gaining equally baffled conscripts from those passing by.

But then maybe he had a personality flaw....maybe he hates big business.

An embittered young man with a yearning to return to his African country. His intermittent shaking of the head, drew me to him. Why so sad my dear brother, I asked. His tale was populated with pain, laced with sorrow and stewed in vitriol and regret. He was suffering from the special brand of bafflement which afflicted people who longed for change, but couldn't see a way through. You know the type....who spend copious hours digesting information on how their home country is being literally sucked bone-dry, with no hope in sight. He asked me with teary eyes whether I understood his revulsion and bewilderment. How can they say things are getting better, he asked.

But then maybe he had also had a personality flaw....maybe he is an armchair revolutionary, who expects change without getting involved.

I could go on forever, as I ended up speaking and interacting with quite a few baffled people, but space and time betray my willingness to share in totality.

What I can completely share though, is the pervading cloud of befuddled people wondering around the world. They watch unfolding events, putting their special spins on it and wonder how certain things continue to happen unchecked. Theirs is a twisting existence with many unwinding turns. They remain burdened with a revolving door with no exit....

And just as I keep repeating all through this piece, maybe we all have personality flaws and are somehow misguided. Maybe it's the curse of over-thinking. In any event, a lack of comprehension of daily events subsists. Our account in the Bank Of Understanding is in the red. A deficit is emerging and is here to stay....a deficit of comprehension.

We need a resolution.

And the Oscar goes to......BailRunner.

And so the Oscar Pistorius saga drags wearily on, as the superstar paralympian was given bail a few minutes ago.

I had noted in one of my previous articles on this blog, that this month of February 2013, had already thrown up a few bizarre occurrences, from the Pope's resignation to Oscar's Valentine fatal present to his now deceased girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp.

But can I get an Amen, when I say nothing prepared me for the bombshell concerning the investigative officer's potential attempted murder trial! Why didn't someone within the ranks of the SA Police or Justice department, pick up on this little fact?

Could it be true that there was an intentional sabotage of the prosecution's case, and if true, who would be behind such self-sabotage? Is an inquiry ever going to be carried out to flush out the truth or at least investigate the resident shoddiness within the SA Police ranks? Or maybe, we should remember that after all is said and done, we are still in Africa!!

In any event, I guess we need to ask ourselves exactly where we are.

Firstly, it is imperative we all remember a precious life has been lost in this inexplicable tragedy. To that end our collective prayers should go out to the Steenkamp family. Secondly, what now for Pistorius? Yes, he has successfully got bail and adjudged not to be a flight risk, but what quality of life will he really now anyway? Lastly, where does this case leave the image of the police in South Africa? 

I guess the next few days, weeks and months, before the trial proper (bail probably means lesser charge), will reveal how the hand of fate will play. In my modest opinion, I do not see Oscar Pistorius going on to live a normal life henceforth. Not that dissimilar to the life which awaited O.J Simpson, subsequent to his acquittal all those years ago, O.L.C Pistorius will now be under such incredible spotlight, that I do not see a palatable outcome for him, bail or no bail.

The Bereaved Steenkamp Family

A life has been lost and unlike some, I am not convinced it was accidental, neither was I moved by the tears, shaking and drawn appearance of the man. He should be all those things if he takes someone's life and more.

As for the triumphant shouts of 'Yes' from his supporters when his bail was announced, I have to confess an uncomfortable echo of the same from Johnnie Cochran, when O.J was found innocent. In both instances, it was inappropriate, especially as the deceased's family were in-house on both occasions. But then maybe it was somewhat understandable.

In the end, whether he gets away with it or not, a cloud will forever be resident around him. God help him, God give the Steenkamps peace and God help us all!

Breis Audiobook - Press Release

PRESS RELEASE

Single:  STRICTLY

Label: Student of Life

Release date: March 18

AUDIOBOOK: BRILLIANT RAPPERS EDUCATE INTELLIGENT STUDENTS Release date: March 25

"STRICTLY" is the first single taken from BREIS' ground breaking Hip Hop Audiobook, the audio version of his rap book entitled'Brilliant Rappers Educate Intelligent Students'. It is also the lead single from the "Brilliant EP"(songs from the audiobook but without the narration), which will be simultaneously released in March 2013. Produced by BREIS and Leroy Brown, this Afrobeat flavoured single features the sweet Zimbabwean vocals of Eska Mtungwazi. Eska’s lush melodies and BREIS’ raw delivery sound brilliant together on this Hip Hop - Afro beat fusion. ‘Strictly’ will be digitally released on March 18 and the audiobook/EP will follow on March 25.

“This one is for Africa and the Diaspora,” says BREIS. “It’s about the culture of our words and music and their importance to us as a people. It’s also an acknowledgement of the hard work of my parents’ generation that usually goes unseen or unheard in the UK.”

BREIS (breeze) is a dynamic Hip Hop lyricist based in London. His style is a fusion of the Hip Hop, Soul and Afro-beat he listened to growing up in both the UK and Nigeria. He describes his sound as BAM (British African Music). He is also an author and the Director of a Hip Hop educational company called Student of Life, which encourages young people in education to raise their aspirations through the vehicle of Hip Hop music.

Here's the Breis sound cloud link http://snd.sc/YA6f9S

Listen to the latest single 'STRICTLY'
https://soundcloud.com/mrbreis/strictly-ft-eska-mtungwazi

A February named Bizarre.

I have to confess my cynicism for all things connected to astrology, so you can imagine my conceited disdain when some crank cornered us at a festival last month and read out a list of planetary mumbo jumbo about impending strange happenings.

Apparently, Neptune will be entering Saturn and a full moon will descend upon us with Venus, Mercury and Jupiter also fighting for our attention. Wow!!

It was quite hilarious, even more so, when some of my party appeared genuinely enthralled by it all. The crank went on to tell us 2013 was to be a stand-out year, with loads of bizarre happenings. I remember sneering at the time and wondering if this gathering around a weirdo, was the first installment in the prediction.

In the end, I left my pals there and moved to the Vodka tent.....some guy showing everyone how to turn potatoes into alcohol and being nice enough to share the brew for £1 a shot! Genius move, especially with the ambient arctic winter. And even better, nobody needed to predict I would be pissed within the hour.

That was two weeks ago, and today, devoid of the effects of the vodka, I am slowly beginning to realise my 'crank' description may have been totally exaggerated at best, or misguided at worst.

The psychic was bang on....some strange s**t is indeed happening!

So, the list so far:

• For the first time in history, a power outage occurs at the Superbowl.
• North Korea conducts a nuclear test, which we had all been assured was beyond her capabilities.
• For the first time in 600 years, a Pope resigns.
• A meteor (those shooting stars they told us not to worry about) nearly hits Mother Russia, showering and injuring a thousand people in the process.
• Oscar Pistorius, superstar sportsman, inexplicably kills his girlfriend.

Admittedly, all the above is quite unnerving, but what type of world will it be, if we allowed bogus seers to control our every thought? Surely, the whole thing must just be some unfortunate culmination of bizarre occurrences.

I mean, I foresaw Nigeria lifting the African Cup of Nations (even though sadly I have no witnesses). Does that somehow make me qualified to put up a crystal ball tent in forthcoming festivals?

As a blogger, I believe it is my job to introduce some demystification and attempt to bring some mature assessment to the so-called strange happenings. I will do my best to be succinct.

So, here we go:

• Superbowl Power outage - We don't need to overdress this....let us stick with the Beyonce explanation. It will do until an official one is announced.
• North Korea - If the Iraq invasion did not convince us the so-called superpowers don't have a clue what is happening in the world, this event should effectively nail that coffin. Maybe for once, chubbier people will start to earn our respect....they don't call him Little Kim for nothing!
• Pope's Resignation - Shed no tears... let's be honest, he should never have attained the papacy in the first place. Yes, I said it and I am still going to heaven!
• Russian Meteor - In spite of all the American movies telling us different, it appears the Aliens are interested in anywhere, but America.
• Oscar Pistorius - Four shots.....sorry Oscar, no legs to stand on!

It is my fervent hope that these events now look completely ordinary and your fears have been allayed. To be honest, I was getting tired of the collective woahs and wows.

We should get used to it.....S**t Happens!

Less We Forget

So, this day in 1976, the then Nigerian Head of State, Muritala Mohammed, was killed in a failed military coup. His death sparked intense mourning and till this day, some Nigerians are insistent he remains one of the country's best ever leaders.

From the purge of the public service and the military hierarchy, the crackdown on corruption and the dynamic and purposeful shift in the nation’s foreign policy, some say Muritala's remains a standout regime.

These days when one hears Nigerians praying for good leaders, it does cross the mind that perhaps we've already had our fair share....it's just a thought.

Late General Muritala Mohammed

May his soul continue to rest in peace.