THE STATE OF PLAY

Are the gods to blame?

2012-01-19T11:59:00.000Z

Those of you who have read or watched the late Professor Ola Rotimi’s great play; “The Gods are to blame,” may or may not be aware that the great man’s play is actually an adaptation of the ancient Greek playwright Sophocles’ work; “Oedipus Rex.”

In the original piece of work, Oedipus, the King of Thebes suffers an unbelievable reversal of fortunes when he discovers his whole life is built on a foundation of falsehoods.

He finds out to his horror that he has killed his father, Laius, married his mother, Jocasta and worse still, he is his children’s half-brother! Wracked with guilt and inconsolable shame, Oedipus considers his fate, and is finally pushed to the limit when Jocasta, on finding out the truth, hangs herself.

Oedipus, upset at not being able to have seen the facts before his very eyes, blinds himself with the pins from Jocasta dress. Orphaned, widowed and blinded, Oedipus loses his throne and is placed under house arrest by his successor and brother-in-law, Creon, who leaves it to the gods to determine his fate. They decided to exile him.

But were the gods themselves to blame?

If I may continue to stretch the artistic license so perfectly applied by the great late professor; now that Nigerians have been blinded, humiliated, orphaned and most definitely on the brink of exile from their birthright, who is to blame for our perilous position?

Increasingly, I see quotes posted via social media pointing to the fact Nigerians have the leaders they deserve. Conversely, every now then, I read articles and quotes stressing opposing views and blaming our situation on the very DNA of the entity we all strive to improve. Nigeria, they say, was put together to serve an economic master who has no interest in the country working out its problems. Continuous strife, disunity and pervasive corruption, are apparently the only currencies that work in the master’s favour.

Well, here’s the thing; everything that happened in Oedipus’ sad story had been predicted years before when Laius, the then King of Thebes had travelled to the oracle at Delphi. Distraught by the predictions, Laius had given baby Oedipus away and ordered him killed.

Alas, this was not to be….destiny is a bitch! As the Yorubas say; “the man destined to eat pounded yam before going to bed, may slumber, but the noise emanating from the mortar and pestle will definitely keep him awake.”

So I wonder whether Nigeria’s current disastrous situation was always ordained in the heavens and all we are only victims of an unfortunate fate. The only way I believed I could satisfy my yearning for an answer, was to go back and read about the early days of country and see what our founding fathers thought of the task before them.

In the end, I found myself asking; was Nnamdi Azikwe actually playing the psychic when he observed;

“I have one advice to give to our politicians. If they have decided to destroy our national unity, then they should summon a round-table conference to decide how our national assets should be divided before they seal their doom by satisfying their lust for office…….it is better for us and many admirers abroad that we should disintegrate in peace and not in pieces. Should the politicians fail to heed this warning, then I will venture the prediction that the experience of the Democratic Republic of the Congo will be a child’s play if ever it comes to our turn to play such a tragic role.”

Or was Obafemi Awolowo already hinting at the vacuity of our patriotism when he said;

“Nigeria is not a nation. It is a mere geographical expression. There are no ‘Nigerians’ in the same sense as there are ‘English,’ ‘Welsh,’ or ‘French.’ The word ‘Nigerian’ is merely a distinctive appellation to distinguish those who live within the boundaries of Nigeria and those who do not.”

Or let us consider the haunting words of Amhadu Bello;

“The new nation called Nigeria should be an estate of our great grandfather Uthman Dan Fodio. We must ruthlessly prevent a change of power. We use the minorities in the North as willing tools and the South as a conquered territory and never allow them to rule over us and never allow them to have control over their future”.

One could quibble at my selection of quotes, but could one not also argue that if these were the words emanating from the men who fought for our independence, then perhaps the very foundation of the house we sit in was as false as Oedipus life? Is it a far-fetched argument to postulate the current issues in Nigeria are entrenched in the fact that it could be an untenable entity? Could the truth be this straightforward or are the complexities too great for us mere mortals to decipher?

With the incessant conveyor belt of dark information now emerging about the spurious operations and underhand tactics employed by the custodians of the black gold that holds us continuously captive, is it not becoming quite obvious that our fate has been decided long before the country was born?

But where lays the blame?

Are we really as blameless as Oedipus who (rightly) was only willing to take responsibility for his blindness? Can we take a leaf from his book and blame the gods for the majority of our ills? And if we do, who exactly are these gods? And how do we achieve retribution?

Apollo, the god of the sun, took the brunt for Oedipus’ fate. Some reckon the Apolline predictions obviously spelt out what was to come and surely Apollo could have averted such a tragic ending for a clearly innocent man. There are modern-day Greeks who still subscribe to this belief.

So where do we turn?

Ogun, the god of iron, was the ubiquitous deity in the Ola Rotimi play….maybe we can blame him. Although I wager he will strike out in revulsion, as many of us have deserted him and his fellow chums since the advent of the Bible and Koran carriers from the West and East.

Hmmm….conundrum!

Okay, I am going out on a limb here and assert our gods are no longer the traditional deities who were the parallels of the Apollos and Zeuses of Ancient Greece. Only an insignificant number of us see the likes of Amadiora, Ogun, Sarki and Sango, to name a few, as channels through which we can dialogue with the Almighty. I submit that today, our gods are mere mortals who we have spent the last few decades clothing with extraordinary undeserved powers and reverence.

From the ever-present faces in our ruling classes to captains of industry who have somehow managed to convince us (with our permission) that one’s life means nowt, until you have accumulated incomprehensible riches and inexplicable resources. Put in that mix a few men of God who are always on hand, to continuously bless this collective and you end up with a well seasoned band of brothers.

These are the new-day Nigerian gods. I could name names, but I do not want to give my poor mother a heart attack! She already believes writing about these things is precarious enough.

Having said that, this is one of those situations where identification will be tantamount to overkill. Everyone knows the people we are talking about…….and as to the question of whether they are to blame. Well, let me put it this way.

Is petrol N97 a litre?

There you are then!

When the Falcon Ignores the Falconer

2012-01-17T18:06:00.007Z

George Washington, a man constantly regarded in the United States as one of their top three presidents of all time, once said the following;

" “Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master"

I don’t know about you, but I read this quote a few times just to ensure I fully digested it. Why, you may ask. Well, the first GW to rule the world’s most powerful country is regularly described as "the father of his country" for his crucial role in fighting for, creating and leading the

United States of America

in its earliest days. Notably, in spite of his strong belief in governance, he appears he was never blinded to its perils.

Naturally, he was the choice to serve as the country's first president in 1789 after the new United States Constitution was ratified. He accepted power (albeit reluctantly), served two terms, turned down the opportunity for a third and returned to his Virginia farm.

The Nigerian in you may break out in a smirk at the thoughts provoked by the last part of that statement. Here was a man who grudgingly became Commander-in-Chief, ruled his people with a listening ear and left the stage when the ovation was loudest. Novel, isn't it?

The trouble of course with the situation people now find themselves in

Nigeria

, is a continuous parade of leaders who have flipped the script and treat their constituents with unbelievable disregard and neglect.

The deference required to understand the people is shockingly lacking and the people in charge have somehow convinced themselves the gravy train will run forever, even though it is becoming increasingly evident the stimulus and maintenance requisite for such endless largesse is slowly but surely running out.

The only words of wisdom emanating from our country seem to be from those who are fearless enough to put their heads above the parapet and willing to take the uncertain risk of trying to talk this government into action.

Warnings from writers, political observers and bloggers on imminent issues - the dangers of impending religious conflict, the slide of Nigeria into a potential occupied country and the inevitable uprising amongst the dissatisfied - way ahead of these events occurring; have all clearly fallen on deaf ears.

Like the Pharaohs before them; our leaders have lost all powers of patience, reverence and perspective. Maybe the situation is a lot simpler and the people at the top are just devoid of ‘No’ men who could bite the bullet and tell the President what he needs to hear, rather than what he wants to hear..

Maybe no one in Aso Rock is given the task of picking up newspapers (like in most civillised governments) and gauging the mood of the people on the ground and reporting to the President. Maybe those of us who have not tasted power are not equipped to comprehend what it takes to rule so badly....maybe it's a power thing!

Maybe it is just a case of the powerful joining the ignorant school of thought that believes Nigerians will never risk their lives to achieve change. Only God knows what occupies the minds of the privileged!

But if I were affiliated to this government, I would be warning it about the fact that no army; no matter how efficient and no force; no matter how expedient, can handle a Nigerian ‘spring’ (for the lack of a better word)’.

I would tell the President it is extremely hazardous to underestimate the damage that can be inflicted when lawlessness becomes the currency of the day. I would draw the attention of the executive and legislative fat cats to the swift and brutal ending of the Gaddaffi network. If he could fall, I would suggest no power structure should allow itself to be lured into a false sense of security.

It is not a matter of if……things are beginning to fall apart. The subsidy protest is just the tip of the iceberg.....a distraction compared to the imminent avalanche gathering momentum, from decades of stewed resentment and revulsion for everything government in Nigeria.

The Falcon is increasingly ignoring the Falconer and unless things start to change now; it may not be able to find its way home.

The Necessary End....

2009-06-30T11:21:00.003+01:00

Funny thing; death.

It is certain and yet, as unpredictable as the female of the species. Actually, I will withdraw the latter half of that sentence, as I am not in a hurry to prove the former half. Seriously though, why does death always have to come knocking? What is the big thirst that it quenches, when it literally quenches us one by one? Why can’t it just bugger off and leave us alive? And can someone tell me what is the deal with sparing the bad and the ugly, whilst the beautiful and good get chopped in their prime? Why does the Grim Reaper leave us the likes of Mugabe, whilst the likes of Thomas Sankara are cruelly taken from us? Why take Michael, Luther, Barry, Aliyah and leave us Lil Kim and Lil Wayne?! Ooops...went too far with that last part, right?

Seriously though, I wonder where you stand. Are you of the Mark Anthony (or is it Shakespeare) school of a necessary end? Necessary end indeed! What is so necessary about it? How necessary is it that loved ones get mowed down with terminal disease and medical complications or as it is in some cases, just get mowed down full stop? How necessary is it that young children, women and men have to spend what began as a full life, in loneliness and misery. I don’t know about you, but if I had a way to avoid it, I would. Be honest, people. You work hard all your life and just when you want to start reaping your harvest, what happens?

Personally, I am a student of the Nigerian School of Life, which states quite clearly that all death is the devil’s handiwork! Whether the deceased is newborn, young, middle aged or wrinkled, Satan is responsible! It is not misplaced in Nigeria that when an old man dies, his old widow is ridiculed as the guilty witch. Nigerians are so anti-death, that the evangelicals amongst us spend countless hours every day screaming ‘I will not die! No weapon fashioned against me shall prosper!’

Call it positive thinking, but when you consider some of the real dangers Nigerians have to outmanoeuvre on a daily basis; I think the chants might actually be working. In Nigeria there is no such thing as an unexplained death. Died suddenly? Unexpectedly slept in the Lord and the piece de resistance; passed away peacefully?

Please pull the other one!

And for those who still believe death is a necessary end, can we have a show of hands please, anyone who will like to pass away peacefully right now?

It Comes to us All!

2009-06-27T13:55:00.009+01:00

Calpurnia:

"When beggars die there are no comets seen;
The heavens themselves blaze forth the death of princes."

Julius Caesar (II, ii, 30-31)

In the wake of the MJ tragedy that has shaken the world to its foundations, a good friend and supporter of this blog, sent me the above quote. He asked if I could incorporate it into one of my entries to temper the dark mood of the last few days. So, here is my feeble effort to that end.

Trust me, death is a confusing and debilitating phenomenon. It will test you to your limits and give you the impression that it is indeed; like a thief in the night, but of course, the truth is slightly different....death is all around us and in the end, it is only when it snatches from us that we convince ourselves that it is light or sticky fingered. As someone who lost a sister less than 7 months ago(she was only 33!), I am more than aware of the anguish and confusion that accompanies the flower-bringing, but perhaps this latest universal loss is my opportunity to connect with the resulting captive audience and review certain realities about life:

1. Some peopel will cry more when a celebrity dies, than they will for their own blood!

2. Just like we are all born, one day, we will all die.

3. Once in a while, God sends us individuals that help us to appreciate his Majesty, Grace and Mystery.

4. Everyone is a star, but those that burn brightest, eventually expire quickest - hence the saying; the good die young! I know Mandela and Mother Theresa bucked the trend, but there it is ;-)

5. Death and Life are twins! Unidentical, but twins the same....

6. If we really connect with our maker, we will not query, when death comes calling.

7. A life of 20 years, could actually be more beneficial and purposeful, than that of 70.

8. We never know where the next MJ, Bob Marley or Elvis is coming from, so we learn to encourage spotted talent everywhere we see it.

9. That talent in question could be your child, friend, spouse, sibling or neighbour.

10. As one door closes, another one opens. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh.....

End of!

The Eastern Promise....

2009-06-22T17:40:00.009+01:00

I have to admit last week turned out to be very interesting, especially on the back of the blog entry relating to the Igbos and the Nigerian Presidency. As I was keeping up with the fallout on Facebook, I was also having telephone conversations and the amount of people who don't want you to know what they are really thinking is scary! Word of no lie, a long-time Igbo friend, went as far as to say; 'my friend no one will admit to this, but we don't see ourselves as part of Nigeria! People will never tell you that we see the country as expirable(?) and pretty soon too!'

Now, that blew my mind, but that was probably down to my being Yoruba and shamefully, not knowing as much as I ought to have known about the Igbo history. Theirs is an irrepressible and dynamic culture, that some say reflects their ancestry which can be traced back to the Jews!!! Well, I am not that hot in history, but I do acknowledge the ability of the Igbo to do exactly what the Jew has done all through history - leave home and prosper in some distant land. Their ability to adapt and tough it out is legendary, and their history is littered with moments of severe loss, both human and otherwise, in those foreign environments.

Right, I am not certain that my friend's words were 100% accurate, but I am aware that the scar of the Civil War is permanent on the Igbo pysche (You don't get it? Read Purple Hisbicus - Ngozi brought it home!), much like the Holocaust is on the Jews. Although, I cannot on the basis of his comments, which he claims is 99% representative of Igbos (I found that hard to believe, as Igbos definitely don't have a herd mentality, but then neither do the Jews except on the Holocaust!) decide that the future of Nigeria is in the balance, but I can bear witness that my friend's parting words which did leave me cold;

"Look Castro, no Igbo man will thank you for bringing up this issue. If one of us goes forward to contest for the Presidency, we will never vote for him en masse. We prefer to vote for the Hausa or Yorubas. Na dem get the country, we just dey tag along until the thing finish!'

Personally, I want to believe he's in the Minority......or is there a little of him in every Nigerian?

Of gods and men...

2009-06-17T15:32:00.008+01:00

On the back of my blog entry yesterday and several hours of telephone conversation, it seems the issue of power in Nigeria remains as clouded as ever. What clearly stood out in the feedback, was the variance in the individuals considered to be the nation's most powerful people and why. I was always(naively) of the opinion that certain obvious individuals would make the top ten, but imagine my surprise when someone mentioned Rtd General Wushishi in her top three! Before you start laughing, please consider that the contributor of that brainbender, is someone who enjoys that rarified air, reserved for those whose families have been richly involved in all things Nigeria post 1960.

It did take me a few minutes to close my mouth, but I regained composure enough to ask how IBB was not on her list. Now, that I found astonishing! Perhaps, I do not know much about this country that I keep rabbitting on about. My flab was to be further gasted when an 'uncle' of mine insisted Henry Okah, the imprisoned leader of MEND, was in his top ten! His inclusion of Okah (who just happens to be my old school mate from FGCL) convinced me that it was quite possible that people had begun to confuse Power and Influence. A point that I put to my uncle.....his reply was lightning quick; 'There is no difference. They are identical twins!'

For the record, this is my top five:

1. Sultan of Sokoto
2. IBB
3. OBJ
4. James Ibori (surprised?)
5. Umaru Yar'adua

I guess when it is all said and done, it's all done to opinion. I will be glad to see your list.....

The Fela Prophecy.......

2009-06-16T13:00:00.009+01:00

I have often been a participant in discussions focused on the topic of whether Nigeria is governable.

These forums like most things Nigerian, rarely end with concensus, as most contributors are themselves cycnical about the concept of 'One Nigeria' and all things that point to a robust nation. Rather, it seems to be an entrenched belief in the mind of most that we are unsuccessfully forging an uneasy union of regions, which are ostensibly nations in their own right. Let's for just a minute take this to be the case, are we then saying federations are inexecutable and as such a myth? Or are we just saying the Nigerian federation is the myth?

Yes, it is self-evident that the subject matter is sensitive, but is there any credence to it? For it is accepted that most things worth fighting for, often demand a high degree of risk and inevitably, sacrifice. The risk to ask the unaskable and the sacrifice of possibly being slaughtered (hopefully, just by print and verbal exchanges) in the process.

Is it true that the very foundation of the Nigeria we know and love today, is suspect and based on cycnism? Did the British really advise the Northern leaders to enlist their subjects heavily in the armed forces to counteract the evident academic and natural resource superiority that existed in the South or is this just a figment of the imagination of conspiracy theorists? Is it also the case that the stiff upper-lip cabal led by Lord Lugard, recognised the natural ability of the Northerner to rule and decided it would be beneficial to the continuum of HM's Empire economic royalties, if their 'natural' allies kept political power north of the River Niger and Benue? Were they really forewarned of the possibility of Southern secession and advised to do all within their means to quash it? Did these things really happen? Is it a mammoth myth that Sir Ahmadu Bello, the then Sardauna of Sokoto and great, great-grandson of the revered, Usman Dan Fodio, visibly snubbed all Sandhurst recruits of Southern Nigerian origin, to the benefit of their Northern counterparts, on a state visit to the celebrated millitary school? Or is this another great white lie?

In the end, what does it take to rule an anomaly like Nigeria? Is it a country that is eternally remote-controlled from outside our shores or is it an entity that can only be directed by ultra-powerful indigenes? If the latter is the case, could this be the reason why the likes of Obasanjo, managed to make some headroad in terms of reversing some of Nigeria's destructive brain drain and recruiting the likes of Dr. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala to join the crew navigating the creaky vessel, whilst our current President is struggling to even implement a re-branding campaign?

Politically, did OBJ's time as a millitary Head of State give him access to the true corridors of power an as such an advantage over UYD, who just happens to come from one of the most inluential political families in the North (actually, Nigeria as a whole)? Where does the real power lie? Is IBB the most powerful man in Nigeria, or is it still the Sultan of Sokoto (although, Abacha's treatment of Dasuki must have shaved some clout)? If indeed OBJ and IBB are two of the most powerul men in Nigeria, how come they couldn't solve the power crisis or is the continuation of such crisis, at the very heart of 'holding on to power' in our dear country? Don't look so surprised, I am sure you must have heard this mooted before!!! Will God's command to 'let there be light,' illuminate, expose and ultimately stiffle the real captains of our leadership?

Well, it is an idutiable fact that all things done in darkness, will eventually be revealed in the light and even though we remain uninformed, unaware and basically kept 'in the dark,' someone somewhere, knows the truth and to paraphrase Fela;

'One day go be one day......'

Morning Rage....

2009-06-15T09:02:00.013+01:00

I have to confess to starting the day in a viciously bad mood! A Monday should be a day for fresh beginnings and new hopes. A day to look forward to the rest of the week and a time to cast away any blues from the week before. So, you can imagine my fury, when I was awaken (having only gone to bed at six, writing another chapter of my new novel) by a royal prick from Mumbai or somewhere similarly far-flung, asking if I wanted home improvements and worse still, didn't have the bloody decency to pronounce my name properly?!

"Hello, you have won a conservatory! Can I speak to Mr Ohyakakanamani Ahyeeedia," he asked with the brazen effrontery of someone who actually paid my phone bill!

My reply was in line with my frazzled mental state.

"No such person here and please do not bother to call back, we are emigrating," I screamed as I dropped the phone.

What a tosser! How did I get to win something when I didn't even enter a competition? Does this fool realise I grew up on the streets of Lagos, when 'boys were boys' and 'men were men'? Where nothing goes for nothing and we always stay far from being timid? Why doesn't he take his conservatory and stick it where the sun don't shine! Okay, that is probably excessive, but I am sure you get my drift and understand the ire running through my veins right now! The only other time I have felt this outraged, was when a so-called friend was trying his best to convince me that I was better off renting one of his Lagos flats, than staying in a nearby hotel.

"The cost is just too much bro! Here all you need to worry about aside from the reasonable rent is diesel," he said with such relish.

I could not believe the size of his balls.

"Really, na diesel you just call like dat? In the hotel, I no dey worry about nada and until I get my own place, I think I will stick to that thank you very much!"

His reply was as expected, harsh, to say the least.

"Well, it's your funeral. You know you are a millionaire and like all big boys you must live in luxury. Abi, no be so?"

I wasn't having that.

"My friend, I no be millionaire, but even if I was, I won't still rent this sorry excuse for accommodation! The finishing is terrible, the fittings are hideous and I will have to be terribly desperate to live here, but saying that, maybe that's what you are looking for. Desperate people!"

Suffice to say, we don't talk much these days. The thought of it all still pisses me off!

Arrrgghhhhh, my fervent hope is that my day gets better.....

The Power of the Inevitable....

2009-06-11T10:42:00.011+01:00

The Former Minister of the Nigerian Federal Capital Territory, Nasir El-rufai, in his recent speech titled “Nigeria: Political Dynamics and Prospects for Reform,” given at the Center for Strategic and International Studies (CSIS) in Washington, D.C, gave the usual lengthy stone-throwing at the Yar'Adua government and expressed his doubts, at any prospect of the current regime implementing any tangible progress.

In truth it was a good speech and to be fair, it included some suggestions for change, rather than the customary negative appraisals which inform us of the problems, but seem to be bereft of any information related to solutions. Of course, in speeches like El-Rufai's, there will be the odd nonsense thrown in for good measure and he did not disappoint, as he ended the speech with comments concerning recent plans for President Obama to visit Ghana and not Nigeria. Apparently, like most political observers, he believed the President has done this because of the quality of governance in Ghana, which is clearly lacking in Nigeria.

Well, I doubt if you will find a bigger Obama fan in the blogging world than myself (I spent 8 months pretending to be the great man - www.obamadrama.blogspot.com), but I hope he truly did not snub Nigeria due to the governance issue, as his recent choice of destinations does not seem to be in line with his purported 'preference' for the Gold Coast. Yes, Nigeria is suffering from ill-governance and endemic corruption, but I do not believe the regimes in Saudi Arabia and Egypt (yes, I know the Middle East crisis dictated his itinerary!), hold any 'paragon of governance' status when compared to the Nigerian nation.

Unspeakable things are being done by both countries' governmments to maintain the fragile stability they display to the world and if Obama has truly decided not to visit Nigeria due to her dodgy government, then I am afraid he is obviously applying the most sophisticated form of double standards! Saying that, we do not have proof that this is the case, but we are ready with our reactions if it is ever confirmed.

We know Nigeria is an incredibly challenged country, with a seemimgly self-destructive character, but I am certain a man of Obama's intelligence is aware that his appearance in the country, rather than the opposite, is the propellant needed by the masses to demand change and for the goverment to initiate a turn in it's direction. Forget vsits from the Dai Lama and the Pope, this is the world's most powerful man, who just happens to look and walk like us and most importanly, one who achieved what most thought was impossible (no different from the current Nigerian mindset). In the end, we are talking of the world's most populous BLACK country! It is not a maybe for him, it is just a matter of when.

Mr President, we are expecting you.......don't let us down.

The Tale of the Clever B***h

2009-06-10T10:15:00.007+01:00

Orobator being led away after sentencing

Hands up anyone who believes Samantha Orobator is not an innocent drug mule, who has been caught up in a cruel web spun by heartless drug fiends. I am guessing there are a lot of you out there and if not, I can declare that I happen to belong to the cycnical camp. I am not inclined to pity, understand or empathise with any drug-smuggling affiliated individual. It's just not the done thing!

Unsurprisingly, she has now been imprisoned for life and must be thanking her lucky stars that her 'pregnant' stunt has allowed her avoid the usual death sentence! Orobator should have received the death penalty, but Laos Penal Law states it is forbidden to uphold the death sentence on a woman who is pregnant, so the court had no choice, but to give the lesser sentence.

Why am I returning to this issue? well, when the initial news broke about her plight, a trailer load of people were convinced she was an innocent drug mule, who just happened to travel to Laos (that wonderful tourist destination!) and found herself victim of the worst type of stitch-up. Yeah right! I was cynical then and my mind hasn't changed, as I believe Samantha is nothing more than a conniving, greedy and despicable character who is desperate for quick riches, but cries wolf, when she got caught!

How else could you describe her brilliant plan to get pregnant? It doesn't read like the work of someone lacking in intelligence, does it? It has now been confirmed by Orobator and the Lao authorities that she conspired with another prisoner, Mr John Watson, to secretly obtain his sperm (via a syringe), which she used to impregnate herself. When officials took her for a pregnancy test on April 4 this year she was found to be 17 weeks pregnant. Watson, a lifer, has been described as overjoyed about the pregancy, and his mum in the UK, has expressed the family's delight! I guess they feel their son, whose life seemed to be wasted, has now not only sired a child, he has also saved a life - literally!

Ahhh......the wonderful world of the get rich quick!

The Dogs of War

2009-06-09T11:24:00.007+01:00

Visitors to my blog will confirm my incessant critique (the unfavourable kind) of the Nigerian government and for that matter, any government that has not shown it's desire to improve and alleviate the burden their people find themselves under.

I have spent hours arguing and engaging in verbal and written slugs, all trying to catch the ear of those in the know, to see if we can find a solution to the mangled image of my beloved country, but slowly it has started to occur to me that perhaps there is a need to change tact, for what we all want is progress and if a tactic is shown to be flaccid and ineffective, new ammunition might be the way forward.

I came to this juncture, as a result of long days spent asking myself some pertinent questions. For instance, can I really be sure that the likes of Obasanjo, would really not want the advancement of Nigeria? Is it truly possible that he would not want constant electricity and drinking water? Does he really enjoy the tragic state of our roads, which by the way, have claimed many outstanding lives? I only ask because, if I was President, it will be my fervent wish that I be remembered as the man who brought all these good things to Nigeria. I find it difficult to comprehend why a man who has ruled that dynamic country or 12 years would like to be known as despicable administrator, when he can do good and be showered with the praise reserved for the likes of Fashola in Lagos state. It is a riddle to me.....or is it?

I think Nigerians both at home and in the diaspora, should now begin to prop themselves into a mindset that those who actually direct the affairs of our nation might actually be unseen and unheard. Yes, I know I am spouting old news, but one has to reaffirm these facts, to fully understand the challenges we face. Ask yourself, if a man could direct a repayment of our Paris Club (a crippling debt that enslaved us), why would it be difficult for him to solve our infrastructure issues? What or who is it that makes the government's task so impossible? Are there shadowy characters who see any progress as an impediment to their own selfish progress or are we just farting in the wind and trying to find a non-existent enemy?

As a once signed-up, but now releuctant member of the diaspora, I wonder if those of us who live abroad, are actually missing a trick and thus unaware of our influence in the direction of Nigeria. In the end, the amount of money we pump into the society more than puts us in a prime positon to sway a change, by engaging with those who wear the crown. Our cerebral bank is being spent venting on our government, whilst we invest our future to various Western societies...how long can this go on for?

I only ask because, I just want progress. The likes of the ultra-respected Sahara Reporters expose all the shenannigans going on in the corridors of power, but is true change happening? Are we just teling Nigerians what they already know, i.e. there is unbridled corruption in high places? Maybe it is time to tell them what to do to bring comfort to everyone. Is it time to engage the juggernaut and work with the powers to be? If I have to dine with the Devil to bring a just society to a vibrant nation like Nigeria, then so be it! What do you think? Is it time to use our talents to fight the good war and stop all the rabid, ineffective barking? Or have i just committed the constant sin of too much talking, when quiet action is needed?

I am open to suggestions.....

The Future is Brown....

2009-06-05T16:51:00.006+01:00

James Purnell looking at Gordon Brown and wondering whether he knows what he's doing

As a committed student of politics, I always love the intrigues that characterise the corridors of power and the treachery that emerges when the situation becomes tough. Of course it's a shame that the transparency needed to enjoy the theatre is missing in my own nation, but all through the political history of major nations, individuals of outstanding candour and heart have shoved their way into the hearts of their respective electorate, cementing their place in history in the process.

Irrespective of your politics, one has to doff their hats to dogged politicians like Margaret Thatcher (stubborness), Churchill (inspiring), Bill Clinton (outrageous charisma)and Obama (well, genius...perhaps). It takes an incredible amount of chutzpah, to battle your way through what has been described as an impossible task and then in the process succeed to convince millions of people that your way is the way to go. It is a God-given talent and as we can see quite clearly with the current Gordon Brown crisis in the UK, it is also a trait that is very limited in circulation.

Whilst we fawn over the oratory and screen-idol looks of Obama, we are left with nothing but sheer discomfort when we observe Mr. Brown. A man of incredible intelligence, but cursed with the facial expression of your neighbourhood mortician, poor Gordon is like the neglected grumpy big bear stuck in a private zoo with little cute furry animals, who attract the majority of visitors. He is constantly irritated by what he must view as cerebral cretins who kiss his arse to his face and do otherwise, once he turns his back!

In the end, I happen to believe Mr. Brown has the tenacity to deal with the ongoing furore and will therefore weather the storm. The parliamentary Labour party cannot afford a leadership election (they are terribly expensive!) and there isn't anyone except Alan Johnson perhaps, who has the nerve or the gravitas to emerge as a formidable force to repel the oncoming Tory army. And so, even as minister after minister resigns (and there will be more...trust me!)and their leader is festooned and beleaguered, I just somehow have this feeling that it will not be enough to get the man out of Number 10.

I still believe the future is Brown.....

The God Business (Part 5)

2009-06-04T18:59:00.013+01:00

As torrents of economic drought and anorexia lash the pockets and stomachs of the average man from New York to Siberia, many have said the situation was signed, sealed and delivered by the greedy fat cats and 'get rich quick' brigade. I recall a conversation with some rather agitated acquaintances last week, where someone actually called the current situation; a battle between evil and good. A scenario that has now arisen (according to the same person) due to the nonchalant nature of those who represent the so-called 'good'.

Apparently, lawyers and bankers were wrongly seen as the 'new' priests and holy men, and 'making a buck' attained the same gravitas as having a decent and upstanding character. The speaker went on to condemn the ubiquitous 'rich lists' developed by the likes of Forbes and The Times, which have now, accordingly to him, become the commandments that Mankind has decided to live and die by(?!!) It was a poignant night which meant the conversation never recovered from the gloomy, downward trend introduced by Mr Good vs Evil, although his passion for the topic was infectious to say the least. I only began to appreciate the remarkable slant of the gathering, when those involved set off a full-fledged navigation of the complete morals and ethics landscape, before ending in that dreaded one-way conundrum; doubting the existence of God!

Don't open your mouth so wide. The amount of people who are beginning to join the atheist army is alarming and yes, there are fully registered Nigerian conscripts within. The theory is simple......how can there be a God, who will stand aside and watch so many desperately suffering and disadvantaged? If he really exists, is he really in control? If he is in control, what exactly is being controlled? The Good or the Evil? Blah, blah, blah....

Well, as you can imagine, it wasn't exactly a mild chat and I contributed my two pence, by stating quite clearly and loudly that I felt our current dilenma was endemic of the 'end times,' which is clearly predicted in the only holy book where I can lay claim to some affliation......you never know, there might have been an angel passing by!

The Coffin in the Sky

2009-06-03T15:00:00.006+01:00

A crew member monitors instruments, in this photo released on June 2, by the French Defense Ministry, during a search mission over the Atlantic.

In the wake of the Air France tragedy, it seems inevitable for the issue of air safety to resurface in some quarters. As an incredibly bad flier (anyone with Nigerian blood should join me, especially in the light of our air travel record), I have always believed that any vessel that can carry hundreds of people and tonnes of luggage and still take off and stay in the air, sometimes for fifteen hours is definitely prone to catastrophic possibilities.

I have actually addressed the issue in one of my previous blogs and received a full length reply from a seasoned pilot who assured me that it was by far the safest mode of travel. His argument, like those of most people who love flying, was that when one considered the amount of people who fly every year and then looked at the percentage of casualties, it was a very low indeed. Well, my reply to him and those who share his views is this; what is the percentage of survival on a crashed aircraft?! This recent tragedy has claimed a 100% and that number has been replicated through the years, with high survival in crashed flights being in the extreme minortiy.

In the end, with all the science and gizmos, air travel is still an unknown sphere for the human mind. I know we have all the so-called experts with their well prepared statements; 'this aircraft is the safest in it's class and we have never had any electrical problems on this plane, blah, blah, blah.' All of it is little relief for the bereaved and hot air to the us bystanders and potential customers.

The truth is the science of planes is not as exact as we are led to believe and whether we accept it or not, it is still a business and irrespective of any tragedies, the money-making has to continue. How else could it be possible, that we are now being told that we may never know the true cause of the Air France flight 447crash? So, no bodies for the relatives, no explanation of the relating circumstances and no effect on the constant stream of people needing to take another plane......hmmmm. What was the greatest trick the Devil played on mankind again?

Air Travel? Could it be the greatest trick man ever played on man?

The God Business (Part 4)

2009-06-02T16:38:00.004+01:00

I have just emerged from what I can only describe as an extremely sensitive argument, relating to the potency of good and evil or at least that is what I conceived it to be about, until one of the verbal pugilists dropped the killer hook and asked the most impossible question; 'If God exists, is he aware of the evil pervading the world at the moment and if he is, can we then say this God is in really in control or have things overtaken him?

It was a roadblocker then and it's still a roadblocker now! I am still conjuring up my arguments and will return to the topic soonest, but in the meantime, it is a poser I am putting out there. My advise is that in reply, we refrain from scare-mongering and predictions of doom being visited on anyone who might have views different from ours.

Looking forward to the wordslinging!

Same country......different Flag!

2009-06-01T09:25:00.027+01:00

After an unannounced and eventful one-month sabbatical, I have decided to return to my creaking laptop and freshen up my backlog of commentary on the state of the 'Enigma' that is Nigeria. My time away has been spent publicising my novel; 'A Candle in the Sun', travelling to Lagos and starting the draft of my second novel. Prior to the time off, I had been engaged in several verbal clashes regarding my blog entries. A few of my peers took exception to what they saw as excessive vitriol directed at our government and wondered why I hadn't cut them any slack.....so I decided to chill out with my keyboard. Alas though, things ain't really changed, so it's the return of the Hack ;-)

To be frank, it has been a refreshing, enlightening and damn right enjoyable break for most of the time. There have been lows (Liverpool throwing away the Prem), highs (Barcelona outclassing Man U!)and the odd average day (MPs getting exposed at last). As for my time in Nigeria, well, it continued to confirm some of the fears I have harboured regarding her direction, although, the greenshoots of progress - though hard to see - can be observed slowly coming through. Of course, it was difficult to ignore the decibels generated from the 'US destabilising Nigeria' palaver, saying that, it must be said that the average man on the streets, would probably welcome any kind of foreign takeover, as it could never be worse than what most are going through on a day to day basis.

I am not really sure about the efficacy of the source of the 'destabilising' rumour, but it is worth asking whether it will be such a bad idea if Nigeria was destablised (for the better)? Aside from the loss of national pride and being the victims of some international ribbing, what else could we lose? I guess the situation is quite clear-cut; if those given the manadate(?) to rule Nigeria continuously fail and those of us who are their subjects, refuse to do anything about it, then, is it not viable to let a proven state like the US take over? For one, it will be a million miles more transparent and symbiotic, when compared to the ridiculous situation we have found ourselves with the Chinese! We speak the same language to a large extent, we share a federal system of governance and our legal and democratic structures are not dissimilar. Definitely less takeaways for sure!

Okay, on the downside, we will become a rather big 52nd state (actually, isn't that position already taken by the UK?), but hey, who cares as long as we have a strong armed forces that can protect the nation and kick the hell out of the Niger Delta millitants. Now, couple that with uninterrupted electricity, constant water suppy and a booming economy?

In the end, isn't that what we all really want?

A Word is enough for the Unwise.

2009-05-01T15:45:00.010+01:00

Those who have come across my blog, can confirm my love of quotes. I revel and swim in the delightful waters of a great quote. Something that has occured to a great mind and they have in turn, been generous to share it. As I view the world around me and cast a critical eye on events in some of the world's most challeneged regions, namely Africa and Nigeria in particular, I did some research and came up with these pearls aimed solely at those who navigate our political vehicle:

It's impossible to be loyal to your family, your friends, your country, and your principles, all at the same time. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

If everyone were clothed with integrity, if every heart were just, frank, kindly, the other virtues would be well-nigh useless, since their chief purpose is to make us bear with patience the injustice of our fellows. ~Jean Baptiste Molière, Le Misanthrope

If honor be your clothing, the suit will last a lifetime; but if clothing be your honor, it will soon be worn threadbare. ~William Arnot

Conscience warns us before it reproaches us. ~Comtesse Diane (Marie Josephine de Suin de Beausacq), Maximes de la vie, 1908

If a man is not rising upwards to be an angel, depend upon it, he is sinking downwards to be a devil. ~Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Every wrong seems possible today, and is accepted. I don't accept it. ~Pablo Casals

Are you not ashamed of heaping up the greatest amount of money and honour and reputation, and caring so little about wisdom and truth and the greatest improvement of the soul? ~Socrates

Every human being has... an attendant spirit.... If it does not always tell us what to do, it always cautions us what not to do. ~Lydia M. Child

To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves. ~Will Durant

Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself. ~William Faulkner

There is no man so good that if he placed all his actions and thought under the scrutiny of the laws, he would not deserve hanging ten times in his life. ~Michel de Montaigne, Essays, 1595

Nuff said.....

Hope don't live here anymore..

2009-04-30T15:20:00.006+01:00

I have just come off the phone, after having what I can only describe as a sad, sad conversation with a long-lost friend of mine. She is embedded (how else can you describe it?) in the Ekiti State election 'war' that is currently soiling the name and political fabric of Nigeria. She came across as crestfallen, soul-crushed and utterly befuddled, with the ongoing crisis and searched unsuccessfully for answers to age-old questions. I guess what really affected her, was the complete lack of humanity that seemed to have overtaken events around her and the loss of lives, resources and promise that cruelly accompanied.

'Do you know that I am watching a protest of half-naked women at the moment,' she asked with each syllable drenched in pain.

Being of Yoruba descent, I instantly understood the symbolism therein and sighed in desperation. It seemed our government was not prepared to do the right thing until it was literally shamed into doing so. How an election which was so clearly seen as a potential theatre of violence, could be allowed to degenerate into that exact thing, is simply beyond belief! The only option one seems left with, is to assume that those who are charged with keeping the peace, must be the same ones at the centre of the ongoing chaos. Truly unbelievable!

As I attempted to regurgitate century-old excuses for our decadent situation, I realised that unlike Barack Obama, all Nigerians ever did was peddle, sell and hope for Hope! We live all our lives in Hope and make decisions based on Hope, even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contary. We know we have never had the luxury of ethical governance or transparent leadership, but we hope that ONE DAY, it will all come to pass......well, guess what happens when there is no action behind the hope?

It is called Hopelessness!

A serious case of Myopia!

2009-04-29T14:47:00.012+01:00

"You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him." James D. Miles

Wow.....so we still have Nigerian public officials with a human face? We still possess people whom when given a hefty responsibility, actually understand what that weight signifies and are prepared in the face of corruption and ugly threats, to pursue the truth and damn the consequences? Sorry that I keep going on, but I just believed such individuals were virtually non-existent in our troubled polity. Sure, I know a lot of people who swear to having a bank of ethics, to which they will unfailingly withdraw once faced with any degree of responsibility, but it is also my experience that once given such office, their bank seems to go bankrupt faster than Northern Rock!

So, Mrs Ayoka Olusola Adebayo, the Resident Electoral Commissioner of Ekiti State, truly resigned her post due to what she saw as an almighty debacle of an election? Can I say wow again? Of course, in true Nigerian style, a few hours after her resignation, the Independent (please pull the other one!) National Electoral Commission (INEC) chairman, Maurice Iwu , the Inspector General of Police, Mike Okiro and the Minister of Information, Dora Akinyuli, or shall I say the three musketeers, addressed a press conference in Abuja at which they declared the honourable woman, wanted. They even went further and questioned her ability to cope under the pressure! Don't you just love Nigeria?

In the face of a watershed moment that has inspired Nigerians and non-Nigerians in their millions, our government's response is to threaten persecution and employ derision! It would be funny if it wasn't true, but unfortunately, it is really happening and I guess it makes sense when you consider that this is the same government, that recently came up with the decision to withdraw police orderlies from judges.

The juggernaut tragicomedy that is Nigeria moves on precariously with no regard for decency and upholding the rule of law. Surely, we cannot continue down this path without the juggernaut seriously damaging the lives of millions of decent Nigerians (yes, the majority are decent!) and impairing the set of values we all stand for! My earnest hope is that those in power reflect on how they are perceived and admit the pain being unleashed on its people; to paraphrase one of my favourite Nigerian artiste; Abi, you need glasses?

The Rocky selfish road to Greatness.

2009-04-27T10:01:00.003+01:00

I am a Natural Born Cynic! I view most things with suspicion and I am aware that it keeps my world a lot more shruken than it should be. For instance, on the one hand, I realise that in order for Nigeria to grow and become a force to be reckoned with, she needs to open up her economy for foreign investment and instill a feeling of stability on ground to attract the right interest.

Unfortunately, on the other hand, I cannot see how we can open up our markets without becoming satellites for countries like the United States, China and Russia. History will show that the countries most successful with rampant economic growth (Singapore and Malaysia, to name just two)in the last three decades or so, are those that have a strong sense of self and an even stronger cultural base, cast iron enough to withold the inevitable 'watering down' exercise which always accompanies 'progress'.

The Chinese thrived largely because of the territorial nature of their language and their ability to keep to their kind, hence the ridiculous practice of bringing everything, including their drinking water, whenever they get into 'economic partnerships' with the likes of Nigeria, Sudan and Niger. This is in direct contrast to Nigerians, who have a more embracing spirit and would interact, sometimes to the detriment of their values.

Maybe, it's time to do less embracing and understanding......maybe it's time to start being proud of who we are and what our nation represents - A force that should be reckoned with!

When Age is not just a Number...

2009-04-24T14:29:00.005+01:00

Sitting at home on my favourite sofa, with my laptop lazing away due to a very long period of inaction, it began to occur to me that life is nothing but a culmination of the seconds, minutes and hours we live, and how those units are spent determines whether we are regarded as a success or failure. I have spent the last 30 minutes jogging thoughts in my head, but essentially I have produced nothing and as the world goes on by and the TV drones on in the background, I realise I am 42 years old and seriously wondering; how many more of these wasted units that I can afford?

This type of self-examination happens from time to time, but today's has occured due to a political discussion from the night before, in which I was asked by an acquaintance; 'You seem to be impatient with progress in Nigeria, but if we are being clinical, the country is only 7 years older than you. Can you honestly say that year for year, you have achieved as much as she has?'

It was an unexpected poser and the sheer weight of the surprise, seems to have galvanised me into writing today's blog entry and it has got me wondering whether commentators are ever fair when lampooning a government, especially when that country is relatively young? Let's consider the USA and Nigeria; one got its independence in 1776 and the other in 1960, so, is it balanced to draw comparisons between both in terms of progress, advancement or governance? Do we expect too much from young countries or is Age, truly just a number? Actually, let us take this to the next level and ask; is the United States 5 times more advanced than Nigeria? I guess I know the answer to that.....

But looking through history, one can still find evidence in history books of a time in Britain (despite it's maturity as nation), when the King thought nothing of spending the wealth of the nation, just as if it was part of his private coffers! America's long history of independence, does not exclude it from dark episodes, like the Mccarthy years, during which people were persecuted just because they had different beliefs. Also, I doubt anyone watching the desperate scenes during Hurricane Katrina, could swear they never, not even for a second, thought of the so-called Third World!

Please do not mistake moi for an apologist of mismanagement and poor governance, all I ask is that from time to time, to be measured in our observations. After all, irrespective of what most might think, an attack on our country is really an attack on ourselves!

Happy sniping....

The Unsettling Truth.

2009-04-23T16:21:00.001+01:00

For those of us whose soujourn in the diaspora has been long and eventful, it is often commonplace for relatives and friends who remained in Africa, to ask the inevitable question; 'what has he achieved since he has been there?' It is a natural question and one that emanates from being part of a culture that earmarks an indivdual against a brutal 'success chart' that has items like 'built a house, has money in the bank, member of a renowed social club and connected to political power,' as de rigueur.

Often, these items keeps the average diaspora guy in a non-stop whirlwind of clocking inhuman hours at the workplace and in some cases a hellbent desire to be wealthy, by any means neccesary. In the ensuing chaos, those who have not managed to secure their immigration status, spend copious amount of money and time to attain the holy grail of settlement and in the process, watch from afar as those with citizenship or settlement status, 'fritter away' their oppoprtunities! Of course, this is how it appears when you are the one seeking to be regularised, although it is clear that slackers exist on both sides of the immigration fence.

Inevitably, the unregularised like the everyone else begin to raise families and in essence children, who then become a viable vehicle to reach the promised land. This then puts in motion an urgent need, to sort things out before the reverse occurs. Now, hold that thought and view below the horrible plight of a Filipino couple, who illegally entered Japan in the 90's and settled (not officially)enough to have a daughter and begin to earn a decent living. The problem though, was that the Japanese Immigration Service was still investigating their viability for entry and invariably decided they did not qualify to settle, setting a deportation date in the process. With all legal avenues expired, the couple were faced with an unbelievable choice; take the whole family back to the Phillipines or exit Japan and leave their daughter behind. View link to understand the anguish involved:

:

So, having seen the above, can you ever doubt the scenario occuring in likes of UK and the US? And if it does, how many of your friends, relatives and neighbours do you think will be affected? Answers on a post card please.....

Every Little Helps....

2009-04-22T15:43:00.011+01:00

As someone who has been accused of never saying anything positive about Nigeria, I decided sometime last week, to go in search of all things good that are Nigerian and furthermore, decided to publicise those things as far as my blog would take them! So, there I was at my favourite bookstore (my main source of information), browsing through every thing that caught my fancy, when all of a sudden I came across a very interesting book. It made good reading (well, browsing in my case!) and I decided I would share it with everyone, just in case like me, some were in the dark. Here goes....

'A Brief History of the Future' by Jacques Attali, which basically predicts what would occur over the next 50 years! Imagine my surprise when it has some good news about Naija! I will do my best to summarise the relevant core of the provocative and courageous book:

Fall of the US empire

Apparently, this would take place before the end of the ninth form of capitalism, estimated to take place around 2035. It would be followed by a polycentric world, with nine dominating nations on all continents: the USA, Brazil, Mexico, China, India, Russia, the European Union, Egypt and Nigeria. Some of them, notably China, India and Nigeria, as well as other countries artificially created after colonisation, could undertake an explosion process similar to that of USSR in 1991, with as many as 100 new countries emerging. Japan, Indonesia, Korea, Australia, Canada and South Africa would also play important roles as major regional powers.
A process of "nomadisation" would stem from technological factors, like the Internet; from demographic factors, like aging of developed populations which would entail massive immigration from Southern countries to pay retirements; and from development of megapoles. Increase of world population would entail a doubling of global farming production.

Hyperempire

The "nomadisation" process would make nation-States irrelevant, transforming the world into a chaotic market called "hyperempire". The entire planet would work according to an ultra-liberal economy and a form of democracy with "revisited" standards.

The ruling class, called "hypernomads", would ground its power on a middle class of 4 billion "virtual nomads" comprising technicians, scientists, managers, engineers, etc. The "virtual nomads" would live a sedentary life, but work in networks for companies without a central location. 3.5 billion "infranomads" would subsist in misery.

"Infranomads" are expected to revolt violently against their condition, stemming a resurgence of national entities and cristalising conflicts around traditional borders of ethnicities, religions, etc. Technologicial improvements in weaponry would put Humanity at risk of destroying intself in this conflict.

Hyperdemocracy

Opportunities of more constructive developments are detailed under the term "Hyperdemocracy", based on solidarity networks, participative democracy, "responsible companies", NGOs, micro-credits and collective intelligence.

Weapons of Mass Destruction

Attali's words filled me with dread; "Now pointed at Japan, North Korea's missiles will one day target the United States and China. The missiles of Pakistan fallen into the hands of fundamentalists will threaten first India, then Europe. Those of Hezbollah — in other words, Iran — that now target Israel will one day be pointed at Cairo, Riyadh, Algiers, Tunis, Casablanca, Istanbul, then at Rome, Madrid, London and Paris. Should the battle lines harden and the country be threatened with annihilation, China's missiles could one day target Japan and the United States."

Okay, maybe the Nigerian bits were a miniscule part of the book, but like I mentioned earlier, any positive mention of our dear country will be magnified by moi! To read more, you will need to get a copy at all good bookstores!

A Different Spin.....

2009-04-21T15:51:00.004+01:00

Politicians would always tell you that to have a brilliant spin doctor is not an option in politics, it is incredibly manadatory! You have one and your odds of being formidable in the fight against your rivals, is nearly doubled and you don't, you are basically Toast!

In my renewed quest to see everything Nigeria positively, I went in search of articles, stories, press cuttings and anything legible, just to be able to share something upbeat and stirring about Naija. So, you can imagine my joy, when I came across an article on CNN's website, which to my mind, spoke of Lagos (I know Lagos is not the whole of Nigeria, but still...), in such vibrant and descriptive language.

If Governor Fashola recruited Alastair Campbell or Karl Rove, neither could have done a better job. For those interested in the said write-up, please visit link below:

http://edition.cnn.com/2009/TRAVEL/04/20/lagos.visit/index.htmlttp:

Eko o ni baje o! Nigeria sef no go spoil lai lai!

When Words are all you have....

2009-04-17T11:04:00.000+01:00

So, it seems that Umaru Yar'adua might be turning a new leaf, in the governance of Nigeria. I am not not sure if you are aware, but apparently, he had a few choice words for the Nigerian Power Minister, Mr Lanre Babalola, in a highly charged Aso Rock meeting.

The usually placid Presido was said to be in a feisty mood, when he unleashed:

"Whatever you need to succeed, I will give you. If anyone stands in your way and you want him or her out, just tell me and I will clear such a person for you. But I want results. I can hardly sleep again because of the power situation. I made a pledge to Nigerians that by the end of this year, they will enjoy stable electricity and it is a pledge I intend to keep. My name and credibility are at stake on this issue."

Apparently, Vice President Goodluck Jonathan, ever the diplomat, interjected by stating the credibility of everybody in the administration was at stake, but Shehu's younger brother, went full throttle!

"No, it is my credibility that is at stake. How many ministers of power have we had and who remembers them? If things fail tomorrow, Lanre is a young man, he will simply dust his CV again and begin to look for another job but Nigerians will remember the promise I made."

He then went on say how he couldn't sleep because of the power issue, although, it might have been prudent for someone to remind our dear leader, that millions of Nigerians couldn't get any shuteye as well, principally because of mosquitoes and heat, two horrible sleepkillers that love darkness. But I guess that would have been a bridge too far....after all, no one wants to lose his or her job!

Still, I know we are a cynical lot, but maybe the tide might be turning. You be the judge.....is there LIGHT at the end of the tunnel?

Give us our S**t back!!!

2009-04-16T12:14:00.013+01:00

"... when the struggle seems to be drifting definitely towards a world social democracy, there may still be very great delays and disappointments before it becomes an efficient and beneficent world system. Countless people ... will hate the new world order ... and will die protesting against it. When we attempt to evaluate its promise, we have to bear in mind the distress of a generation or so of malcontents, many of them quite gallant and graceful-looking people."

- H. G. Wells, in his book entitled The New World Order (1939)

God, I beg for your forgiveness, but I have an aversion for the Swiss!

It's basically something which began very early in my life, once I had begun the read the history of the world and how certain financial orders and structures were created to ensure some countries remain permanently at the foot of the rich nation's tables. Their activities during the era of the Nazis is well documented and their immoral motto of 'neutrality' is probably one of the most heinous in the history of man!

Why are they always in the centre of scandals involving embezzled or ill-gotten wealth? Why would banks like Barclays and virtually all Swiss banks, take money into their coffers, when it is obvious that it has not been properly earned? How would the world have reacted, if Nigeria was actively providing financial refuge for reprehensible and despicable leaders? Mull that over......

Ask yourself one question; if it was virtually impossible for certain countries, principally Switzerland, to create a culture of acting as a repository for the world's ill-gotten gains, how many corrupt leaders would get away with criminal siphoning? It's one thing to say 'Oh, we have no opinion on the activities of the Nazis and corrupt African leaders,' but once you then begin to create safe havens for the proceeds of those activities, you inevitably become culpable. It is a complete nonsense and it has been going on for so long to the detriment of billions of poor people around the world. If we can chase and freeze accounts of terrorists who launder money to fund their nefarious campaigns, why is it so difficult to do same when the money is coming from African leaders who have no evidence to back up earning this money?!

The whole world and its mother (including myself in this blog!), rain condemnations on the Nigerian polity and government, but once in a while, it might be worth considering the role external forces play in the continued denigration of our ailing nation. Let's go back in history.....it is quite clear to those in the know, that countries like Nigeria and Congo, which are blessed abundantly in natural resources were - not to put a spin on it - carved out by the European colonial masters to fail! You can never have stability when you have such diverse cultural and spiritual variance. When most Africans look at the West, they see so-called 'civillised' societies where things work, but they often forget that the political and cultural homogenity that exists in the UK and the US, to name just two, goes a long way in ensuring stability and a conforming populace.

The average guy in the North of the UK, aside from certain quirks, has a similar life to the guy down south! The type of food is the same, the time of eating that food is no different, the language is the same, hence the guy in the South can travel to every point in this land of 55 million people, knowing fully well everyone will understand him! The religion is virtually the same, despite the exertions of Muslims, Bhuddists and Atheists! How are they not going to be able to function? Now, consider the fact that despite all these similarities, there are still regional divides in the UK and then flip that round and ask how Nigeria is meant to succeed when it is burdened by vast language, cultural, religious and spiritual differences?

I have to say that right now, I am even more convinced that the British definitely lumped the various groups together, knowing fully well it would take centuries to resolve our differences! The only saving grace, was the rebellious nature of the initial leaders we had, who refused to bow and scrape at the colonials' table - something which has unfortunately been lost now. I will always repeat one thing; Nigerians need to realise we are the forebearers of the Black race. We need to shift up a level and stop bending over for these foreigners to have their nasty way with us! The more we sell out, the more we will be seen as weak and pushovers. I have lived in the UK for twenty years and I can assure you that they will never take some of the crap we take from them in Nigeria!

We need to grow a collective backbone and realise a self-evident truth.......no amount of trying to please foreigners will help.......they are designed to look down at us! Nigeria gets the '419' label around the world, but yet, the Western countries that are swimming in the cesspit of earning interest off our money, are hosted and dined by the good and great.

The double standards are shocking, but it would help if we stopped plundering our people's funds in the first place, you bloody barawos!

A Leak too Far.....

2009-04-09T20:41:00.010+01:00

Surely you must have heard by now about the sorry plight of the UK Police chief, who was more or less forced to resign over after an embarrassing security leak, which resulted in a major anti-terror operation being hastily carried out in broad daylight in NorthWest England yesterday. For the Nigerians amongst us, it must be tempting to ask what would have transcended if this had happened at Aso Rock.

In a crazy twenty four hours that has embarassed the Brown government, Bob Quick, Britain's most senior counterterrorism officer, mistakenly exposed high level security papers (see photo above) to the waiting Press, as he visited the Prime Minister at Number 1o on Wednesday morning. Only one of the hungry paparazzi with their space-age telephonic scopes, captured the moment and the rest as they say, is History! Steve Back, the eagle-eyed photographer who took the damning image was also the same guy who photographed Housing minister Caroline Flint, last May, walking along Downing Street, holding briefing papers which laid bare fears of a 10 per cent fall in the housing market.

Of course, there was political gain to be captured and the London mayor and chairman of the Metropolitan Police Authority, Boris Johnson, scraped the proverbial plate and trumped the government to the announcement, something which has left a bitter taste in the Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith's mouth.

To be frank, I am only writing about this story mainly to draw parallels for those who wonder why Nigeria has such a long way to go, in the quest for transparency and accountability. There is no mystery really.......let's cut to the chase, if this was in Naija, the photographer would still be in the process of bargaining with the guilty civil servant! In the end, the case (discreetly of course!) would get to the Presidency and the trucculent journalist would be tortured until he gave up the images. Alternatively, the waiting Aso Rock paparazzi wouldn't even have the necessary 21st century cameras, to create the damage in the first case! Nigeria we hail thee! Yet, our President wonders why we are not in the G20.

There is no magic panacea for the type of progress Nigeria requires, we just have to be blessed with officials, who in the face of scandal, fall on their swords. Of course there are so-called 'first world' civil servants, who hold on to power until someone pries open their cold, shameless hands, but they are a new breed who grew up with no sense of duty and have been lucky enough to have an Oxbridge education.......evidently, their days are numbered too. Besides, Nigerian officialdom, in the face of perpetual ineptitude and worldwide condemnation, should aim for a higher bar. Someone should remind our leaders, that one in every five black people on earth, is Nigerian! Ready or not, we have to accept that we are naturally appointed frontbearers and our attitude should reflect accordingly.

That's that then. I got it off my chest! Oh, by the way, if you are interested, Steve Back now runs a company called PoliticalPictures.co.uk, which specialises in taking photographs of politicians. Maybe you should take a tour....

Inheriting Our Heroes

2009-04-08T10:52:00.036+01:00

“Regard your soldiers as your children, and they will follow you into the deepest valleys; look on them as your own beloved sons, and they will stand by you even unto death.”
Sun Tzu (Chinese General and Author of the 'The Art of War')

I have always had problems with the concept of heroes. Let me rephrase that; I have reservations about the way society creates heroes. Also, I am eternally wary and as a matter of course, distrusting of people who partake in verbal diarrhoea, in pursuit of building up the so-called great and good. There is a certain Nigerian journalist that has perfected this art, but his main error was in picking a very average man to idolise, a rich one, but one of very average character indeed. Anyway, I should return to the topic at hand and ask; what is it that makes a hero?

The Greeks in their old mythological ways, told us that a hero would be gallant, of noble background and possess copious amounts of courage. I only ask the question concerning the hero, because of the recent flak directed at the returning troops from Iraq by a small minority, when they decided to parade the streets of certain UK cities to celebrate their 'successful' campaign in the pursuit of Iraqi 'liberty and democracy'. It appeared the small minority had not read the scrpit produced by the big majority, who were intensely upset that anyone would not join them in celebrating their heores. The thing that makes my mind boggle of course, is the heroic status that countries attach to these soldiers and the unquestioned reverence that the majority of people demand that the rest of us accord these fighting machines. Afterall, they have fought for our security and they have ensured that we sleep without fear of attack from a crazed enemy.

But does this make them heroes? Let's face it, most foot personnel in armies come from lowly backgrounds and are in the armed forces because they have gauged their possibilities in life, and deemed it the only viable place to secure three square meals and a roof over their heads. You can correct me if you feel I have overstepped the mark again ( I often get carried away like that), but as you do that, please bear in mind that I do have one or two friends in the British and American armed forces and I can guarantee you I am not that far off the mark. Most soldiers join at a ridiculously young age and their desire is to belong and feel they are part of something special - a need that develops from an often purposeless life. Actually, the more empty your life is, the easier the army recruiter's job is supposed to be. Although, there is always the odd one. I will never forget the young black man from Chicago (I think it was Chicago anyway) in Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 911, who upon being shown pictures of a supposedly ghettorised part of Iraq as a reason to join the army, came back with a great retort; 'there are parts of my neighbourhood that look exactly like that!' It was priceless and very telling.

So, do these kids from the economically depressed part of town, deserve any glowing accolades once they have completed their tours or is the need to give them some gravitas, driven by governments fully aware that a 'Purple Heart, Victoria Cross or even a mere State funeral, would only further the desire to join the world's top milltaries. Just think about it, if those who lead the world cannot create some type of status for our soldiers, who would ever want to risk their lives in the first place? That heroic badge firmly reserved for these men and women has been made so symbolically powerful, coupled with generous help from the media, so much so that the overwhelming evidence of abject veteran care is not sufficient to stop the wave of new recruits. Saying all that, could my cynicism be blinding an obvious reality and could it just be that I am missing an undeniable fact.

You see, my definition of a hero is; someone who has in the face of plenty, denied themselves to assist others and in the process risked their lives and possibly that of their nearest and dearest. In line with those words, I have only ever managed to place four individuals in that category; Mohammed Ali, my late father (nepotism is alive!), Gani Fawehinmi and Nelson Mandela. But something did occur to me recently. The soldiers we send to war are doing a job which is clearly not in line with the wages and shelter we provide for them, furthermore, the risk to life is palpable and although they are not superior to everyday-life heroes like Nurses, Doctors and Firemen, they are still worthy of our praise and adolation.

Everytime I question their 'Superman' status, I almost feel like I am in the presence of a defiant millitary type, kissing his teeth as he recounts the immortal words of the Jack Nicholson character in a 'Few Good Men':

'.......I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then question the manner in which I provide it. I prefer you said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand to post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to! '

Nuff said......by the way, do Nigerian soldiers qualify for hero status too?

What we Lack...

2009-04-07T12:52:00.007+01:00

"Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything.” Napoleon Hill - American author (1883-1970)

A few days ago, specifically April Fool's day, I wrote about the then ongoing G20 summit and its impact on the lives of Londoners and how I had wished Nigeria was involved in some way, shape or form. My underlying theory being that with its vast resources, Nigeria should have been able to reach or surpass the group's entry criteria. Hardly had the virtual ink dried on that blog entry and voila, our dear President, UYD, also reacted with some degree of disappointment at the non-invitation.

The usually placid leader of the world's most populous black nation, found some unusual vigour and declared; “I must say that today is a sad day for me. And I think it should be for all Nigerians, when 20 leaders in the leading countries in the world are meeting and Nigeria is not there. This is something we need to reflect upon. We have the population; we have the potentials; we have the ability and capacity, and we have the will.” Of course, in line with expected behaviour, he retreated and asked the 'august' audience; "is it the will that we lack?"

I hate to repeat what already exists on this blog and for that reason will not regurgitate prose referring to the leadership vacumn and purposelessness that seems to be the trademark of Nigerian governance. Rather, I will concentrate on the President's poignant question. So, to begin, let us throw in a poser; does UYD have the will he refers to when it comes to leading Nigeria to it's rightful place? More pointedly, has our 'sleeping giant' ever had any leader with the will to do the right thing? Saying all that, can we digress for a moment and forget the factors that drive our leaders.

What drives the average Nigerian? What excites us? What do we view as our purpose in life? Do we really have a leadership problem, or is pedestrianism a national trait? In other words, do we have the desire or will to actually uplift our fatherland or are we addicted with the upliftment of our personal economic status, even at the risk of our country sliding fatally in the process?

I happen to believe it is a bit of everything that culminates in one unrefutable fact; majority of Nigerians do not love their country and when it's all said and done, that is the bottom line! Worse still, our lackadaisical attitude towards the direction of our country is not driven by the economic woes that we suffer, instead, it is driven by a selfish need to serve Self before Nation, an affliction that has pervaded our society pre and post independence. It may not be popular to state this, but I am willing to damn the consequences and paraphrase Al Pacino's Scarface character; there is nothing you guys can do to me that hasn't already happened to me!

The lip service of our so-called leaders, is a trait inherited through a lifetime of saying what one believes people want to hear. Oiling our way through life and pretending that once we attain power, we will somehow morph into a virtuous person of purpose, and miraculously light the way for 150 million people. I believe most will agree, that we have seen a procession of people of different backgrounds take the power reins in Nigeria, and one thing definitely rings true; everyone is out for themselves! It even gets a bit sad, when one considers the fact that the more ordinary the background, the more bestial our top people tend to be. We do not have an elitist problem in Nigeria, what we have is too many simpletons who want to attain elitism. The Dikkos of the world come to mind....

So, where do we go from here? Well, I am still a strong believer in the true essence of Nigeria. I love the original gregariousness, aptitude, spirit, industry and spiritualism that embeds in her heart. I am certain that like the proverbial dog, Nigeria will have its day......Ghana did. Let's just hope that when that day arrives and we qualify for the G whatever it is by then, the forum do not 'lack the will' to do the right thing!

As Time passes by.....

2009-04-03T15:49:00.010+01:00

“When a love comes to an end, weaklings cry, efficient ones instantly find another love, and the wise already have one in reserve.” - Oscar Wilde (1854-1900).

In a rare departure from my usual topics of Nigeria and the African continent, I find myself enjoying the Obama show that came to town and kept Londoners enthralled for 48 hours. Barack has had European leaders eating out of his charmed hands and Michelle even got a hug from the Queen! S**t like that is not even supposed to happen, apparently. All the historians are furiously searching their worn out records, for the last time her Majesty touched anyone, not to talk less of an American!!!

In any case, the Obamas have truly played their part and eased Gordon Brown's woes in the process. The grumpy Bear at Number 10, must have been hoping frantically for a break in the horror show currently consuming him and his government. The thing is though, when one looks a bit deeper, it is quite clear that the cure has been temporary indeed and even though the American charmers did the best they could, ultimately even with the recent ground-shattering elections, America has lost too much moral authority in today's world. Any American charm offensive is made effective by the Obamas, but be honest, the things we like about the first couple are basically their unAmerican traits! Intelligence, Charm, depth and gravitas, will top the list. The world seems tired of all things American (well, except the Obamas), or am I just speaking for myself?

Don't get me wrong, I love America. It’s easily the greatest country on earth!

I love its music, its actors, its sense of show business, the razzmatazz, the money making, the big cars, the big egos, the self-belief, the home of the good, bad and the ugly, the land of the Kennedys, Ali, Martin Luther King, Larry Bird, Michael Jordan, Jack Nicklaus, Tyson, Jesse Owens, J Edgar Hoover, Joseph McCarthy, The Klu Klux clan, the NRA. The CIA, FBI, the Grammys, Oscars, Hip-Hop, Biggie Baby and the land of Oprah. The land of the free, America has it all.

But in the quest to remain the most powerful country on earth, America has had its fair share of involvement in upheavals; the Vietnam War stands out like a sore thumb. The ‘honour’ of being the only country, to have dropped a weapon of mass destruction on another, is imprinted in history and with the Iraq war; we had America, once again, on the road to nowhere.

Like everything in life, the American era will end. Historians, depending on their politics, will either paint her a sinner or saint. The foretelling of its end should not be seen as this writer’s wishful thinking, but as a statement borne of evidence; all things expire. The British, Roman and Ottoman Empires, all massive entities at their peak, eventually crumbled – It’s the law of Nature – and as evident from our history books, very few people who lived during those times, could have imagined their impending extinction.

Those ‘blessed’ by the gift of hindsight, would tell you, that the first signs were clearly manifested in the events of 9/11. The invincibility is gone and the hyper-power myth destroyed. Like Tyson felled by Buster Douglas, the Aura has been punctured and the Ego brought down to earth. The beginning of the end should not be mourned or seen as a tragedy, for if the Romans (who gave us so much) could be swept away by the tides of time, everyone else must be fair game. It happened to the dinosaurs for God’s sake! They ruled the world once, although some will argue Rumsfeldosaurus, almost took us back in time!

So, whilst the Chinese, Russians and even the Iranians (you didn't know?) rub their hands with glee in anticipation of 'their time', the rest of us, including the writer of this piece, mourn America’s fading power and influence, a lot more unfortunately will die trying to save it, but as the hawks and neo cons experienced during the last administration, it is exhausting trying to save a terminally ill person. The disease is in its advanced stages and even when your lead doctors are the Obamas, all you can do is administer the drugs and pray.

Of course, I fervently hope that I am wrong, because Nigeria and Africa have no greater ally!

The God Business - The Sequel

2009-04-02T14:18:00.008+01:00

Well, well, well. For those who might have caught my 26th of May 2009 blog entry on the RCCG private plane palaver(http://kanmiiyanda.blogspot.com/2009/03/god-business.html), you will remember that I concluded that if the church saw a jet as essential to their evengelism, then so be it. I also advised their detractors to let them be and realise that religion is, whether we like it or not a private matter, even when it appear to have public ramifications.

With all that in mind, guess what the result of the investigations into the purchase have now revealed? The jet was bought by five members of the church as a business concern and wait for it........the group decided to give special courtesy to their G.O to use the aircraft in special circumstances or something to that effect. Also, unlike what most thought, the plane actually cost a third of the reported amount and guess what; only a third of that figure was paid as deposit.

So, this brings us to a difficult juncture; should we believe these findings or toss them into the dustbin of time, as a clever rebuttal by the church or should we begin to realise that maybe, as a people, Nigerians are sometimes slow to reason and quick to jump to judgement? Or maybe a juncture does not even exist.....because in the end, there are still many examples of churches carrying on, like they have no understanding of the common man and his struggles.

Whatever conclusion you come to, I still believe it might be time to hasten thought and kill the speed of our criticism.....I know we lack people to look up to, but maybe, just maybe, all of our leaders, elected or otherwise do not belong in the same flawed boat!

It's just a thought.

2009-04-01T16:56:00.010+01:00

As the G20 summit turns the centre of London into something resembling a war zone, and most city workers are dressing down to blend in and not become moving targets for the anarchist movement, I find myself chilling at home with no such worries. I am sipping some beautiful red wine supplied by the ever-reliable Tunde Iyowu, and selfishly engaged in the exercise of trying to answer a reoccuring question; why is Nigeria not involved?

For those who might not be aware, the G-20 (more formally, the Group of Twenty Finance Ministers and Central Bank Governors)is a group of finance ministers and central bank governors from 20 economies: 19 of the world's largest national economies, plus the European Union (EU)....Collectively, the G-20 economies comprise 85% of global gross national product, 80% of world trade (including EU intra-trade) and two-thirds of the world population. So I guess that definitely leaves out Nigeria there then....

Besides, when you go to the G20 website (yes, I know I am sad! It is research you see.), it tells us how the countries were chosen; "In a forum such as the G-20, it is particularly important for the number of countries involved to be restricted and fixed to ensure the effectiveness and continuity of its activity. There are no formal criteria for G-20 membership and the composition of the group has remained unchanged since it was established. In view of the objectives of the G-20, it was considered important that countries and regions of systemic significance for the international financial system be included. Aspects such as geographical balance and population representation also played a major part."

Call me cynical, but doesn't the above read like those reports certain people get when their boss never intends to promote them. You can just tell you are not wanted; "Lara is a brilliant worker who inspires all her colleagues with her sunny outlook. She will continue to be valuable in her current position as a rallying point for office unity." Now, let's decode; "Lara does a good job, but she is not exceptional. Although, one cannot ignore her ability to crack jokes and make everyone laugh, this is the only reason why we keep her here."

It's brilliant, isn't it? Just like the club that writes out its manifesto and calls itself inclusive, but then goes on to state how it would want members with common goals, beliefs and background! I don't think the G20 want a distraction like Nigeria, even if she qualified to join. I bet there are 'Nigeria is not here' parties at the beginning of the conferences! Okay, I went too far, but what else would I think, when we were not even invited to the G33 summit.....Ivory Coast was called instead! I did it again, didn't I?

Nigeria is worthy, but we just do not qualify to join the group. It's like university days, when people grieved because the latest ultra-exclusive club rejected their application. It's human nature I guess. Rejection and non-inclusion always gives rise to paranoia and a sense of inferiority complex....Am I not good enough? Why do they want her and not me? He doesn't even dress as good as I do...blah, blah, blah.

So, how does Nigeria join this most exclusive of clubs? Hmmmm.....I guess probity, accountability and transparency, which will in turn lead to improved and increased productivity, which will in turn enlarge the economy and give us that all important purchasing power parity That's it! All done!

And if that fails, we can start our own group with the likes of Guatemala!

How Come?

2009-03-30T11:03:00.002+01:00

Most civilised societies are united in their hatred and revulsion of the actions of Hilter and his barbaric SS army. We even erect permanent monuments to condemn their deeds, especially the inhuman extermination of 6 million Jews or make that Jews, Poles, Russians or Gypsies – whatever version you subscribe to. We feel so strongly that society should not have to go through those dark days again and we entrench a yearly remembrance in our national diaries to ensure we do not forget.

A good and worthy thing I say, but it does leave me wondering why another seismic and tragic period relatively goes unmarked or even noted during our global moments
of deep reflection. Could it be that those whose forefathers were responsible for such acts, are proficient at remembering other people’s evil deeds, but at the same time very slow to remember theirs. Is it possible that human beings are only remembered when they are deemed to be worthy of remembrance? Or maybe it is just too embarrassing to acknowledge. After all, what ammunition would we have to shoot down the Germans (a global pastime) if we ourselves, have to admit our complicity in the extortion and near destruction of a people?

You see sometimes, I believe I do not have the moral authority to pursue this issue, especially as everyone knows Africans leaders - just like in the present day - benefited from the rape of their own people. How can I condemn what the Europeans did, when my own people were complicit in selling each other out? But then I have come across stories of Jew giving up Jew in Nazi Germany, so I am able to comfortably refocus on the plight of those slaves that had to withstand another example of Man’s inhumanity to man.

I will keep asking, if only to ensure that the West never forgets. Just like it has never forgotten any transgression against its own people, no matter how long ago it occurred. So, you can imagine my chagrin, when one of my white colleagues once said to me;

"Come on you guys need to get over it!"

I had no choice but to hit back;

"We would the moment you quit talking about what the Japanese did to your soldiers in that World war!"

As you can imagine, it was not my most popular moment.

Saying that, I hold on to this truth; that the recounting of an evil perpetuated in the past, no matter how uncomfortable it makes us feel, does not indicate angst or a desire for revenge, mostly it relects a desire within the human spirit to understand whence we came, so we can define where we end up and ensure those events do not reoccur. Our need to get people to stop talking about their past, because it reminds us of our capacity to be inhuman, is just a defence mechanism that Man has perfected....like the murderer who claims amnesia. For those who would claim they have gotten over it, please endeavour to learn more about the period, for there is no forgiveness until you fully comprehend what you are forgiving. A good start will be this book; If We Must Die: Shipboard Insurrections in the Era of the Transatlantic Slave Trade by Eric Robert Taylor.

For my part, I am over it, but I withold the right to decide if I want certain people to be aware of that. Especially, those who are hell-bent on us forgetting. One thing really worries me though; what has really happened to the approximately 4 million black souls tossed aboard into the Atlantic at the slightest sign of illness or revolt. Do they wander the high seas aimlessly confused or are they in the afterlife comparing notes with the asphyxiated and poisoned from Auschwitz?

I wonder if they are asking them – How come they remember you and forget us?

Look and Laugh!

2009-03-27T12:03:00.007Z

Just when most Nigerians are questioning the purpose of a federal government that appears to be directionless at best or comatose at worst, we have now been handed down the latest in a series of unfathomable directives, which clearly shows our days of worrying are far from over.

For those who might not be aware, the Federal Executive Council on Wednesday this week, announced the withdrawal of police orderlies for the following; Justices of the Court of Appeal, Chief Judge and Grand Khadi of a state, President of the Customary Court of Appeal, Judges of the Federal High Court, FCT and state high courts, Khadis of Sharia Court of Appeal, Judges of Customary Court of Appeal and Magistrates. The list also includes; Special advisers, Assistants and other principal staff of the President and Vice-President, Secretaries to state governments; State heads of service, Commissioners and Principal staff of state governors.

Just so you are in the know, the following will still keep their security; President, Vice-President, Chief Justice of the Federation, State governors, Deputy governors, Secretary to the Government of the Federation, President of the Court of Appeal, Head of Service of the Federation and Ministers.

So, the Justices of the Courts of Appeal who are the ones responsible for passing down judgements in such high-profile cases like the State governorship tussles, will no longer have security, but a Minister who for the best will in the world, is not in what one would consider a security challenged role, will have their police ordelies in place. Also, consider that all members of the FEC get to keep their security, then you have governance Nigerian-style.

What leaves me totally befuddled is the 'same world, different planet' mentality that this government appears to operate on. Do these people not live in Nigeria? Okay, let's break it down; aside from the Power crisis, what is Nigeria's most prevailing challenge? I will take a guess and say you have just mentioned the word 'security', so how is it that those who are supposed to be leading us to the promised land, have gone off on a different tangent? Of all the social issues affecting our ailing nation, where does this fit in? Who does it help? The Judge who will now sleep with both eyes open (he slept with just one when he had an orderly!), or the criminal who now knows that the path to retribution, has been cleared further for his nefarious benefit?

My late father used to be a Judge before he passed away in 2000, and I can assure you family members of those who sit on the Nigerian judiciary are always relieved to see the alloted policeman who is never too far away. They are aware that even though it might not provide infallible security (what does?), it bears the appearance of some level of protection, just in case an aggrieved party decides to take the law into their hands. I would have thought the obvious dangers of having no security were self-evident, but I guess not....not in Nigeria anyway. In Nigeria, we allocate police orderlies to foreigners (remember the picture of that mobile policeman holding the umbrella over the Chinese man), business people of dubious character, but leave those who are in clear and present danger, fallowing in the cold. We have clearly lost our way.

As expected, the directive has been challenged by the usual suspects; i.e the NBA, opposition political parties and the odd good egg in the PDP, so who knows, we might actually get a reprieve from out populist leader who afterall won more than 70% of our votes. For my part, as I am in no way connected or privy to the level of authority needed to reverse the decision, I will just do what Fela told us to do in these situations.

The God Business

2009-03-26T11:47:00.015Z

"Faith is different from proof; the latter is human, the former is a Gift from God." Blaise Pascal - 17th Century Philosopher, Mathematician and author of Pascal's Wager

As calm descends upon the land following the latest storm brewed and unleashed on Nigerian 'Christendom', following the news of RCCG's purchase of a private jet for its Overseer (see profile at http://www.newsweek.com/id/176333), one cannot just sit aside and not comment on the things we do and say, in the name of the most high. It has now become apparent that the exponents of religion in all their guises, are increasingly under fire and predictable scrutiny. The Pope, for his insistence in Angola, that condoms should not be used, even in the face of the ravaging spread of HIV-Aids in the African continent, coupled with his intial lame reaction to the paedophilia rampant amongst a certain catholic diocese. The Ayatollahs in far flung places, who some see as complicit in the current instability around the world and the current school of pentecostal pastors, who seem to live in a different world from the millions of their followers.

I believe it is prudent to begin by stating I have no stake in either side of the argument and unlike some, I do not have the time or inclination to get all worked up about issues surrounding the choices that a religious body, polity or entity make. Do not misunderstand me, I have my ideas on the morality or lack of, on those choices, but I refuse to increase my heart rate, because, to paraphrase Fela; 'you will die for nothing.'

Some things I believe are self-evident. Irrespective of the religion one follows, the central theme, at least 99% of the time, is the existence of a Supreme Being and basically, that Being has passed down 'a way of life,' for the benefit of mankind. Also, at it turns out, that Being also sends us a prophet to educate us on that way of life. The muslims have Muhammad, the christians; Christ and the bhuddists have Bhudda, just to name a few. Now, although I am not the most religious person in the world, I prefer to believe that the Supreme Being(s) in all the different ways of life listed above, wants Man to live in harmony and move closer to him (or her....for there are those who believe that God is not male). Bottom line, for Man to prosper, he has to adhere to the tenets of his Supreme Being. These facts of mine, I believe to be indubitable and I stick to them under the protection of creative license.

But getting back to the issue at hand, how is it that something so pure and so devoid of hate, handed down to us by a force most believe to be all-knowing and all-encompassing, has now been pummelled beyond recognition after a few centuries in the hands of Man? Some enraged observers even ask how it is acceptable for certain individuals who purport to be men of God, to openly live above reproach and appear to gloat shamelessly in the process. Of course, those who make the mistake of putting that poser to a room full of pentecostals, will feel the full force of 1Chronicles 16:22 and trust me, it is a force frequently deployed and effectively too! Some muslims for their part, are prepared to be friendly towards an 'unbeliever', but if you dare to cross the line when it comes to the issue of God and begin to paint a picture he doesn't recognise, his comeback is firm and uncompromising; "La ilaha ill Allah".....end of story. All we seem to do now is argue back and forth as to whose religion is superior and how our beliefs are the only ones guaranteed to get people to that cosy place in heaven. Jews, muslims and christians, all engaged in a constant bickering as to the concept of God, with each side resolute in their version of the 'truth'. It is a complete mess!

My overwhelming hope is that one day, we all begin to realise that God gave us a way to live our lives, but just like our foremost ancestor (depending on what you believe), we have managed to move away from that message and just like he acted in that 'beautiful garden', we have chosen to embrace reckless emotion. We have taken his wish for us and turned it into all these religions, we precariously place above all things. We produce emotional outbursts when anyone disagrees with us, emotional missiles are fired, sometimes fatally, in the direction of those who refuse to accept our 'way of life' and emotional hatred is showered on those people who choose to meet their maker at their own pace.

God is Love and no matter how you spin it, he wants his people to live pious, clean and the type of lifestyle that will flatter and compliment him. That Man has decided to create the cesspit we currently find ourselves, is down to the fact that we have forgotten the role of faith and the critical issue of that individual relationship with the Almighty. It is a private thing and if you do believe in God, I would like to wager that he will judge you on your 'personal' deeds and no extra brownie points will be given for bashing the other man's religion or lifestyle. If the muslim decides to cover her body from head to toe and spend all of her (or his) money on pursuing the uplitment of Islam, as long as no rules are broken, it is not for anyone else to judge. Likewise, if the christian decides to buy a satellite in the sky to ensure he can spread his message universally and whilst at it, decides to purchase a G5 or space shuttle to extend the spread of that message, so be it!

They are working to their belief.....It's their faith!

In the Face of Royalty

2009-03-25T09:49:00.010Z

The eagle-eyed amongst the readers of this blog (sometimes I wonder if there any!), would have noticed there was no entry for yesterday. Unfortunately, I had not given notice of that possibility, so I do apologise if indeed there was anyone wreaked with disappointment. Actually, I had taken the day off in respect to a friend who passed away 5 years ago yesterday, but who still remains one of the richest sources of inspiration for most things I do with my writing.

Joe was sixty and in the 'dawn of his life' (his words, not mine) when I first met him at Gatwick Airport, during my civil service days. He had a thing for Africa, defying his very Jewish family to travel to various countries in the 'magical continent' as he often described it. His list of visited towns, villages and cities, made you realise you were in the presence of a true world citizen. When a European recounts their 1957 trip down dirt paths in Aba, Jos and Osogbo, just to name a few, one is left with nothing but awe....well, at least I was.

So, how did chats about travelling in Africa progress to a strong relationship? Well, Joe was also a keen follower of politics and had some interesting views on world events, which he jotted down and espoused passionately during our lunch breaks. This meant what began as a simple 'hello' in 1996 had now morphed into a combative 30 minute daily session in 1998, which had now began to attract other colleagues. Unknown to the onlooking observers though, the sessions had continued after work on the train between the one-stop of Gatwick and Three Bridges, and then for a few more minutes before Joe turned into his street. We had become pugilists in a ring with no ropes and our relationship grew from strength to strength. I had even been present at a family meal, when Joe's nephew had brought home his Eithopian girlfriend to the consternation of his parents. Joe's brother, Isaac, a very conservative man, had blamed Joe's negative influence as a factor in his son's decision and he did not hold back.

"I don't think this would have happened, if it wasn't for all your mumbo-jumbo nonsense. I had to put with my niece marrrying a foreigner and now this?"

Joe, for his part was resolute; "the fact that my daughter married outside her race is not down to anything I did, it's what she wanted. I brought her up as free thinker, not a shackled slave to my ideas! Also, please feel free to ignore the presence of our foreign guests, Isaac," he screamed loudly. "You should be grateful your son has a mind of his own and has not ended up like you!"

Of course, on that occasion I had wished we were not so close, as it become obvious that my presence wasn't exactly helping. The meal was fantastic and full of unknown delights, but I was left with no other option than to rush the contents of my plate, to the displeasure of Sara, Isaac's lovely wife. But worse was to come.....

Isaac, a royalist had taken exception at the African head of state on the TV, who had not bowed when receiving Prince Charles. He was apopletic; "why can't this people show respect in the presence of royalty? We introduce these people to civillisation and this is how they repay us? They are like the Arabs; bloody ungrateful!"

Of course, pandemonium descended on the house, with Joe and Isaac at each other's throat. In the ensuing drama, I had begun to negotiate my exit and I was on the way to success, when Isaac threw me a wobbly;

"Kanmi, you will bow if you met our royalty, wouldn't you?"

I found myself stuck to the spot, like a rabbit caught in headlights...but I had to come back.

"Your royalty, Isaac? I don't know, would you bow if you met Nigerian royalty?"

He looked at me with narrowed eyes and cursed under his breath. Joe was jumping up and down with joy. He could not resist, as his tongue let loose.

"What a comeback! Come on Isaac, give our 'foreign' friend an answer. Okay, I will apply some brotherly love and assist. Kanmi, his answer is no, which is good. For my part, I did bow to deities and chiefs in Africa, but I would never bow down to desendants of Germans, just because they are the accepted face of royalty in this isle!"

As it turned out, Joe and I had now become the unaccepted faces in Isaac's home. As we walked out of the house, Joe turned round to me, deep in thought, before asking;

"Seriously, would you bow to any member of the royal family just because you inhabit this country and would you ever see them in the same regal light that you view the royals in Nigeria?"

It was a good question and when asked without the ambient pressure of our previous host's home, it was a question I found surprisingly hard to answer honestly . Even today, as I continue to miss Joe, I still cannot tell you what I would do if I met the Queen or Prince Charles, although, I have no doubts that I will remain postrate in presence of the Ooni of Ife. It's my Yoruba blood....can't help it.

So, to bow or not to bow, where do you stand?

When the End comes....

2009-03-23T13:20:00.010Z

"Wherefore I praised the dead which are already dead more than the living which are yet alive." - Ecclesiastes 4:2 (King James Bible)

When I decided to begin this blog, I had just finished the last entry of a previous one (www.obamadrama.blogspot.com - a spoof of Obama's daily diary during the Election '08 campaign process). I was out of creative juice, but felt a strong need to have a medium where Nigerians and Non-Nigerians alike, could begin to appreciate the promise and possibilities of the much maligned nation. I am a strong believer in the fact that all people share similar traits and rather than destroy each other with harsh words, we could identify what holds us together and understand each other's promise, in spite of our obvious challenges. Yes, some Nigerians will make you ashamed to be Nigerian, but the same can go for the American, Brit or Russian. The main thing to remember is that the sole thing worth pursuing is the collective strand of goodness that runs through all of us, irrespective of race, religion or creed.

So, as this morning edges in and the countdown to the end of the day begins, a large proportion of the earth's inhabitants are probably thanking their lucky stars, for despite the Credit Crunch, they have a chance to carry on in life's amazing journey. A large majority see the demise of the likes of Jane Goody, Natasha Richardson, the young girl or boy next door and the anguish of those family members left behind, and realise; there but for the grace of God goes I. The accolades for the deceased celebrities mentioned above, have been overwhelming and we have been bombarded through TV, print and the internet - our pain is collective and deep. In Natasha's death we see a life unecessarily wasted and in Jade's, a tragic story that came to an even more tragic end on Mother's Day.

As the grief consumes the airwaves, I am left to reflect on the intensity (Jane Goody had a 16 page tribute in a UK tabloid today!)of it and the blatant opposite nature of that coverage as against the words directed at the same celebrities during their lifetime. Why is it that human beings always reserve kind words until a life expires? Cast your mind to your living family members and ask how many times you have truly said something nice to any of them. Look around your workplace and query whether you have fully transported the regard and appreciation you feel for your colleagues. Do people around you know that they are as talented, gracious or as nice as you believe or know they are? Or are you waiting for them to die before you spread the word? Harsh question I know, but true.

As I stated in the opening paragraph, there is a need for a collective good. I am yet to hear of a culture where the people praise their living as much as their dead, but I believe it is a trait worth adopting as we move forward. No one has ever done any harm with praise, at least not as much harm as 'No praise' at all. Do not delay your capacity to be nice and appreciative of someone close today - I am not praying for it, but it could be their last......or for that matter, yours.

The Limit is the Sky!

2009-03-20T16:18:00.008Z

Tidjane Thiam

Rarely do I ever update my blog twice in a day, but I have decided to push that rule aside today in the face of some historic news emanating from the City. In what can only be described as historic(well, it bloody is!), a FTSE 100 company has or the first time ever, appointed a black person as their CEO! And guess what the best part is, he was not even born or educated in the UK. I know you are probably wondering why that is the best part, but let me assure you as someone who has spent two decades on this isle, it is refreshing to know 'foreigners' can shatter the glass ceiling in the land of Cromwell.

Tidjane Thiam is a french educated Ivorien and will become the CEO of Prudential in October 2009. His resume is impressive:

* March 2009: Appointed successor to Prudential CEO Mark Tucker
* Named second most influential black Briton in 2008
* Chief executive, Europe at insurance giant Aviva
* Partner with management consultants McKinsey & Company
* Chief executive, National Bureau for Technical Studies and Development, Ivory Coast
* Minister of Planning and Development in Ivory Coast government
* Studied engineering in Paris and gained MBA from INSEAD

For the Black historians amongst us, Franklin Delano Raines was the first CEO of a Fortune 500 company - Fannie Mae (yes, the infamous Fannie Mae!). That was in 1999, but today, 19 Fortune 500 companies are run by people of colour.

Five Fortune 500 CEOs are Black:

Kenneth I. Chenault, American Express

Ronald Williams, Aetna

Clarence Otis, Darden Restaurants

John Thompson, Symantec

Rodney O'Neal, Delphi

Seven Fortune 500 CEOs are Latino:

Antonio Perez, Eastman Kodak Co.

Alain J.P. Belda, Alcoa

Cristóbal I. Conde, SunGard Data Systems

José Maria Alapont, Federal-Mogul

Fernando Aquirre, Chiquita Brands

Alvaro G. de Molina, GMAC

William Perez, Wm. Wrigley Jr. Co.

Seven Fortune 500 CEOs are Asian, including two women:

Indra Nooyi, PepsiCo

Vikram S. Pandit, Citigroup

Ramani Ayer, Hartford Financial Services

Andrea Jung, Avon Products

Rajiv L. Gupta, Rohm and Haas

Surya N. Mohapatra, Quest Diagnostics

Jerry Yang, Yahoo!

To my mind, this latest appointment goes a long way to let the naysayers (I have been in that number) realise that it is all within our grasp. Who knows what next.....10 Downing Street? Okay,I went too far...or did I? In the final analysis, as seen with the election of Barack Obama, belief and hard work is everything. Every human being is an unstoppable force and when one looks closely, it becomes obvious that the only person stopping you, might be yourself!

Deadlin....

2009-03-20T10:35:00.009Z
Today leaves with me with four days to the deadline of finishing a project overdue for publication. The publishers have badgered me with the consistency of a woodpecker, constantly reminding me of the date slippage. The interesting thing from my perspective is this; I can easily complete the task ahead of me and cast my rampant mind on some other project, but I suffer from the dreaded disease that afflicts most creative minds; Procrastination.

If Planning and Execution were countries, I would be the King of Planning and the Minister in charge of Planning in Execution. I am a master in shelving things and pushing dates back to the end of eternity; if time allows me of course. Unfortunately, this trait has been identified as what separates those who achieve things and those who don’t. So I have decided to turn a new leaf, if not for the success, at least for the sake of my kids being proud of their Dad.

Currently, there are five different projects with no end dates in sight. The eclectic nature of the work means, one has to almost develop different personalities to deliver each task. Enter a close friend and aspiring Life coach, who on hearing my dilemma, gave me some tips on conquering my affliction. The easy guide laid out the most obvious tips which each and every one of us could adopt, with no fracture to our normal day to day activities. Unfortunately, she could not resist a few barbs in my direction;

“Castro(that's my nickname you see), this is not a big problem. Just look at this way, if you were a country, your name would be Nigeria! The good thing in your case is the fact that you are not surrounded by friends with the same trait, otherwise a collective name for your mob could be Africa!”

Of course, I had to swallow my pride and let it go. She had taken time out of her valuable schedule to help me for free, so I guess verbal diarrhoea was to be expected. Besides, she is also Nigerian, although she swears God played a cruel trick on her, as she was originally destined for the West Indies. My initial reaction to that was; “what is the bloody difference?!” In any case, I held my tongue and concentrated on her plan. Basically, it was all about delivering one’s project in phases/ stages and more importantly, understanding that completion must be the end point of inception. So, for instance, if you have a twenty chapter thesis to submit in two weeks, and you finish seventeen chapters in the first week, but fail to deliver the other three before the deadline, you have failed. Alternatively, if you have a plan for delivering two chapters a day and you stick to it, you will complete your task, with a few days to spare. Simple really….

But I know what you are thinking. If I know all these facts and I am also willing to admit I have this problem, why am I still lagging behind with this current task? Good questions guys….

I don’t know really, but I am coming up with a plan to answer that question. Oh, by the way, my close friends call me ‘Mr President,’ but you call me Umaru!

All in the Head!

2009-03-19T11:22:00.015Z
As the world wakes up to the tragic loss of British and Hollywood actress, Natasha Richardson, we all once again witness another unnecessary loss of a young, unfulfilled life possibly due to the lack of adequate safety measures. An avalanche (no pun intended)of comments have now descended upon the sport of skiing in the face of skiers not wearing the obligatory helmets. Anyone who has skied or been near a piste when enthusiaists whizz past you, can attest to the incredible speeds that can be recorded. Skiing has claimed many lives and it's danger is palpable, although it is clearly a deliciously enjoyable and popular hobby. For some Africans, it may even be considered an indulgent luxury, but I bet that is only the case because unlike most of Northern europe, we don't have the copious amounts of snow that decorate the landscape during the winter season. But let's get back to the tragedy in question and how it relates to everyone's life.

Reports have it that when Natasha Richardson fell on the slopes in Canada, she managed to get up and actually walk away from the incident! Infact, she fell on what ardent skiers call a 'baby slope'. So, how did she twenty-four hours later, become brain dead and finally expire within fourty-eight? Here are the views of two experts in the field of Neurology:

Dr. Carmelo Graffagnino, director of Duke University Medical Center's Neurosciences Critical Care Unit, told CNN; "there is an artery that runs above the skull and can get torn and begin to bleed above the lining of the brain. At that point all the pressure is pushed on the brain, causing it to swell but there is often no room for it to move inside the skull cavity. And as the pressure continues, it reduces blood flow to the brain and a patient would begin to feel the symptoms."

Dr Philip Stieg, chair of neurosurgery at NYP/Weill Cornell added to Dr Graffagnino's comments, "People need to evaluate a person's response after a minor trauma," Stieg recommends checking the size of their pupils and asking questions such as the patient's name.

Now, sit back and reflect on what you have just read. Cast an eye back on the events that have marked your life and ask yourself and those around you; have you ever known anyone who has lost their life after what is considered a minor head incident? I bet there will be one or two memories coming back to haunt us all. The head, a culturally significant body part in African mythology, is easily the most fragile thing that modern science believes a human being possesses.

If this accident and subsequent tragedy had happened for instance in Nigeria, I can put my mortgage on it that we would have been blaming the careless medical personnel of the hospital and the witch that cursed us the night before. The reality of course, is that we like everyone around the world who indulges in any activity that can result in a fatal head accident, should in every situation adhere to the necessary safety measures. In the UK, one watches in amazement, as cyclists zigzag through traffic with nothing but a mop of hair at best, to protect their cranium. On my last visit to Nigeria; I saw unbelted children driven in speeding cars, passengers on 'Okadas' riding with helemets carelessly balanced on their heads like fedoras and baseball caps. In some extreme cases, you even saw people hold the helmet a few inches above their heads!!!

In the end, it is the individual's responsibility to look after one's life and the careless abandon most of us engage when we board cars, climb onto bikes and put on those skis of life, proves one universal and undeniable fact; most human beings easily forget the fragility of life! I will leave you with more words of wisdom from Dr Graffagnino:

"The most important thing to do to lower your risk is to wear a helmet when you can, and don't brush off an injury because you feel 'fine' at first. The brain is like Jell-O. Imagine if you dropped a bowl of Jell-O on the floor and it looks intact at first but when you examine it really close, you can see it has teeny tiny cracks all in it. Well the brain can have these tiny cracks that don't show up on initial CAT scan but will develop into problems down the line."

And yet they call us Incompetent....

2009-03-18T11:11:00.014Z

It may come as a surprise to some, but there are 3 Nigerians in the Regional final list for the 2009/10 White House fellows list. Some might ask; Who is a White House fellow? The White House fellow is a special assistant to Senior White House staff and it is a prestigous job with names like Colin Powell and Sanjay Gupta as Alumni. Invariably, only a dozen or so will make 1600 Pennsylvania Road, but to be on this list means you have shown potential for outstanding leadership and you possess proven dedication to service. Well done to Chisaraokwu N. Asomugha, Abimbola T. Omoniyi and Obinna A. Onyeagoro.

Okay, there are 2 more stages to go through; one to choose the 30 National finalists and then another round of interviews to choose the final elite group, but it would be bloody-mindedness to ignore the inclusion of people who look and carry names like us. It is a thing of pride and a reassurance that unlike what our detractors expouse, we do not carry a 'Fraud' gene.

This is very important to note especially in these times, when Nigeria seems to be devoid of well-meaning administrators. Yes, we call a few names as performing capably in their roles, but the mind boggles when you consider the 'wasted generation' of gifted individuals festering on the pile of unused resources and yet we watch our country go to the dogs. Do not get me wrong, I am not saying the White House list means we have reached the zenith of achievement, but it does confirm that we can stand toe to toe with other nations and be proud of our potential.

Evidently, a day will come when all that potential will translate into worthy deeds and Nigeria will occupy its rightful place in the league of nations. Until then, let us do what we do best; Watch and Pray!

http://www.whitehouse.gov/the_press_office/The-White-House-Announces-Regional-Finalists-for-the-2009-2010-Class-of-White-House-Fellows

The Mandarin Express!

2009-03-17T14:02:00.015Z

Pointe Noire, Democratic Republic of Congo
In less than a decade, Ke Qian Zhang, aformer journalist, and his wife Jessica have made their fortune in numerous sectors: restaurants, nightclubs, shops selling imported goods, a factory producing aluminum window frames, cement import, and logging.

A few weeks ago, I posted an entry on this blog regarding the presence of the Chinese in Africa........(http://kanmiiyanda.blogspot.com/2009/02/return-of-walter-rodney.html). CNN have now published some images (see above and the rest at link below) of the 'partnership'. In my earlier entry, I was of the opinion as I still am, that it would end in tears for the ailing continent. My position is driven by a simple maxim; 'A sick man does not get better because more money has been spent on the hospital, rather, his condition may improve if the investment was directly spent on the equipment for his treatment.'

That is my position.....what is yours?

For the rest of images see link below:

http://www.time.com/time/photogallery/0,29307,1884396,00.html

Golden Balls

2009-03-16T16:01:00.004Z

Don’t you just love football? The sight of Rashidi Yekini in USA 94, grabbing the goal net and screaming out the names of his kids in celebration. An ecstatic Marco Tardelli, neck veins popping, as he ran the length of the field after despatching a heavily favoured German side. I could go on, but space and time don’t permit me. For those who cannot get excited about football, it must be excruciatingly painful and downright irritating, to watch fully grown men lose their minds over another group of exuberant males running after a leather ball.

I guess it is like anything in life, some people get it and some don’t. One man’s favourite food and all that jive, or is it one man’s favourite poison. Having said all that, I wish I could have the power to convince the unbelievers about the joys that await them in football heaven. I could experience the satisfaction of telling them how football was ‘not a matter of life and death, but something far more important than that’.

I could impart more ‘Shankisms’ into their virgin minds and impregnate them with stories of unbridled highs and lows experienced in the arena of giants like Edson Arantes Do Nascimento, Diego Armando Maradona, Alfredo Di Stefano, Hendrik Johannes Cruijff and Robert Frederick Chelsea Moore. Well okay, the South American names have a better ring to them. Saying that though,do you remember these Nigerian gems; Adokiye Amiesimaka, Alloysius Atuegbu and Haruna Ilerika...somehow, you just believed they were geniuses on the field just by the sound of their names!

As a Liverpool fan, I believe I am more than equipped with incredible accounts of personal enhancement derived from witnessing a catalogue of triumphs. Although, it is bound to distress Manchester United fans in particular, I could butter up the uninitiated with statements like; the most successful club in the history of British football, the greatest FA Cup final match of all time, the best UEFA Cup final of all time, the greatest Champions League final of all time and so many other wonderful accolades too many to mention. I could convince them that Liverpool do not just have to win, Manchester United have to lose, preferable on the same day! The tales I could tell…..

As the beautiful game becomes bigger and its fan base explodes, it has succeeded in enticing big business and the sky is the limit. Nothing in sport unifies the world the way it does and there is no greater medium in the world of competition. Sometimes, I wonder if those in charge of the game in Nigeria will ever appreciate the effective vehicle the sport can be. As a nation outrageously blessed with football talent, but lacking in organisation, you just hope we will one day fulfil our potential and please can we try and do it with a local coach. There is something very degrading about having the world’s most populous Black country being led out by unknown journeymen coaches from obscure European countries.

In the final analysis, those of us who love football do so because it is without doubt the greatest sport in the world. Take away the sometimes petulant players with overblown egos, the corrupt agents and the managers who are hell bent on their sons becoming even more successfully corrupt agents, the grey suits that sit at the top of the game and the men in black who are signed up members of the Stevie Wonder fan club (Sorry, Mr Wonder).

Take all that away and it’s a bloody great game.

Waiting for God....

2009-03-11T11:01:00.001Z
Did you wake up this morning bemoaning the state of your life, whinging about the things that keep going wrong, whilst conveniently forgetting the things that are going right? If you didn’t, as long as we are telling the truth, can I confess that I did? It’s just a terrible habit that emanated out of being a spoilt child, who practically had everything he asked for and to make it worse, a child that was shielded from the harsh realities of life.

This morning was particularly bad, as I just discovered that I had run out of coffee and suddenly all the bad news being relayed on CNN about some starving people somewhere in Africa, got pushed to the back of my mind and relegated by the much more life-threatening issue of my empty daily stimulant jar. So, you can imagine my shame when a radio DJ mentioned the three year anniversary of Dana Reeves’ death. Dana Reeves? Who is she I hear you ask. And why would her name spring forth my shame, of all emotions?

Well, for those who do not know, Dana Reeves was Christopher Reeves’ wife. Remember the guy who played Superman? Yes, that’s him. The guy, who fell off a horse in 1995, severed his spinal cord and remained paralysed until his death in 2004. His widow, Dana, left her job and devoted herself to the 100% care of the ‘man who could no longer fly’. Ten months after his sad demise, Dana announced to the world that she had lung cancer and as if this family hadn’t suffered enough, she lost her fight for life in March 2006. Now, add to that the fact that the DJ has just mentioned the three children the couple left behind and I would think my coffee tantrum did warrant my induction into the Hall of Shame.

So many times we refuse to see the silver lining in the clouds of our lives and instead invest in dark, quiet moments of unwarranted grief. Maybe it might be advisable to minimise our failures, maximise our successes and remember that the reason why God does not give us all we want, might be due to the fact that he is too busy giving us all we need. For instance - forgive the crude parallels – maybe Africans do genuinely ‘want’ accountable and forthright leaders, but God is giving is currently supplying us with a trailer load of rubbish, because that is what we ‘need’ to get to the point where we say ‘no mas’ and mean it!

It’s just a thought…….

Cut!!!

2009-03-10T12:52:00.006Z

An exasperated and weary Al Pacino screaming, ‘I am in the blind here’! A frustrated Denzel punching the glass divider of the prison conservation booth, whilst telling his lawyer to ‘get me out of here’! A broken Marlon Brando pleading with his brother and saying the immortal words, ‘I could have been a contender’. Nothing quite conveys emotion as actors on celluloid.

The sheer artistry and talent, that goes into translating what begins as words on the pages of a script, to the dramatic vehicle that we ride for a few hours in a darkened room - never quite knowing where it will take us, but still excitedly expectant of the destination – is nothing short of genius. We cry, laugh, shout, scream and immerse ourselves completely without prejudice, falling in and out of love, with people who we have never met or ever going to meet. We empathise and sympathise with these strangers, more than some would ever care to do with our own blood and the beauty of it all, the icing on the cake for these strangers, is that we pay for the privilege.

Cinema at its best can end wars and centuries of hate. It can lift the oppressed and shine light on the stories of the forgotten. It can give strength to the weak and hope to the forlorn. Conversely, it can fuel resentment and justify incomprehensible actions. It can be used to plant in us, seeds of rage and detestation.

This dual role guarantees our continued fascination and worship of the big screen. It ensures that we are prepared to; pay exorbitant prices for in-movie refreshments, suffer the laboured breathing of the guy behind and the body odour of the filth bag sat next to us. It make us pretend, that we do not want to smack the kid that has got up and blocked our view for the umpteenth time on his way to the toilet, or better still, that we do not itch to wring the neck of the gullible adult who keeps taking them. Cinema even makes us calm in the face of the irritant that has occupied the seat behind us and decided to run their own special commentary, complete with inept description and over-emotional screams, just like the crazy woman who sat behind me at Silverbird in Lagos. Somehow, she had convinced herself that she and Liam Neeson were partners in busting the crime gang responsible for his daughter's kidnap! But, I did not complain...infact, I ended up laughing in incredulity and accepting her intrusion.

We accept it all, just for that one Meryl Streep or Morgan Freeman moment of magic. When it arrives, we applaud and suddenly the filth bag next to us or the chatterbox behind us, at least for a few seconds, become less smelly and less loud, and even for a few nanoseconds, our best friend. Saying all this though, I still defy you to go to Lagos cinemas, without having fully rehearsed your ears for the odd audience participation.

IN NOMINE PATRIS ET FILLI

2009-03-09T11:59:00.001Z
The attainment of age often brings with it, the realisation of one’s mortality and in tow, a reflection of one’s trials, successes and those moments that one would rather consign to the dustbin of history.

I was born during a week of acute parental discord, but my naming ceremony brought a sense of calm and acted as a soothing coolant. My father overcompensated by giving me every conceivable luxury that he could afford at the time and I enjoyed being spoilt. Subsequently, he was my hero. So much so, I was permanently aligned with him in thoughts and deeds, visibly alienating my mother in the process. Unknown to me at the time, this was a very tragic situation for a male child.

As time moved on, I was identified as early as from the age of five, as a gifted individual, but teachers worried about my restlessness and emotional pomposity. Clearly, I was a beautiful and bright specimen, but my lack of maternal empathy, meant I was wired wrong. This was to later affect my adult life.

At the age of nine, I had passed the secondary school common entrance exams (a common achievement in Nigeria in those days!), which at the time meant I had a choice of four good schools. My father, against his better judgement, decided I was way too young and kept me in the primary ranks for one more year. That year, was the beginning of the rest of my life.

My tenth year - the beginning of the rest of my life – was a tumultuous one. For the first time, I started to realise my father was not perfect (who is?) and began to question his beliefs. The political sphere was the first arena of conflict. My father’s hero was Chief Obafemi Awolowo, a man of considerable intelligence and outstanding foresight, he was without doubt one of his generation’s shining lights. My father, like most of his Yoruba friends, idolised Awo, as he was fondly called, but I saw the great man differently. First class brain, but to my mind, very average politician.

To my father, my sentiments equated heresy. For my part, I was unmoved because I believe heroes are chosen, not inherited. Bitterly disappointed, he started to realise for the very first time, that even though he brought me up to be my own person, he had found it difficult to accept, when the evidence suggested I had began to develop a mind of my own.

This realisation to my mind, rewrites the history of all fathers and sons. Having said that, the overwhelming tragedy of this generation of Nigerians is the lack of heroes and the knowledge there might be none for some time to come. These days, Nigerians have barely began to adopt mentors and heroes, when they start to uncover the bankruptcy woven into the morality of the so-called ‘good and the great. At least our parents had someone to look up to, unlike in our morally-stricken era when individuals have equated the attainment of wealth, as a sign of wisdom and gravitas. Vacuity and pomposity is the order of the day and we wallow in out cesspit of a culture, still searching in the dark for that one shining star.

I hope we find what we are looking for………

That's Life....

2009-03-06T12:04:00.003Z
As a committed student of politics, I am always enthralled with the elective process, be it in the "citadel" of democracy; United States, or the complicated and unpredictable political theatre of Nigeria. It never ceases to amaze me how events flow from robust and serious issues, to salacious details of the candidates' private lives.

There seems to be this insidious desire on the part of the public to have an affirmation that these so-called "capable and flawless" people asking for our votes, are not that infallible after all. Add to that, a vicious and profit-driven media, that has cleverly tapped into that aforementioned need within the public's psyche. Now place that mix, side by side with the fact that everyone irrespective of race, creed, religious leaning or upbringing, enjoys a scandal. We finally arrive at the circus that informs us that Barack Obama cannot be trusted because he studied at a Madrassa at the age of five, OBJ, for his purported memebership of a secret society and Hilary Clinton for her tendency to do or say anything just to become President, including suddenly discovering her Jewish roots.

The bottom line is this; forget the public's wanton desires, the media's meanness and our hypocritical wanabee leaders, let us just accept it is inherent within each and every one of us to enjoy other people's failures. We don't want people to crash and burn,it's just an enjoyable spectacle watching the sparks fly. Especially, when the victims have been so-called mavericks, or in the view of some, 'disillusioned people' who make unpopular decisions, which are considered to be out of sync with "normal" society.

As soemeone who has had some experience with divorce, I learnt things the hard way. From the religious zealots who consider you doomed to hell fire to the "friends" who have perfected the art of smiling to your face and inserting daggers once you turn around, I have come to understand that all in all, it is nothing personal.

Human beings love to celebrate success, but we find failure much more interesting; because we get the smug satisfaction that our way of doing things has been proven right and we exploit the countless mileage of gossip and innuendo that a catastrophe produces.

So next time, God forbid, you have a dip in your personal affairs; the busload of critics will inevitably arrive, just remember not to board. They can always pick up their "victim" at the next stop.

Roger That!

2009-03-05T09:52:00.002Z

I have a morbid fear of flying. It’s a fear that I wished I never had, but nature has a way of dumping on you. So, my policy is to grin and bear it – well sort of.

I have spent most of my life, unsuccessfully attempting to come up with an explanation for the phobia; sometimes I wonder if it emanated from my father’s decision to fly back to Nigeria in the early seventies, whilst my mother and I had to sail for three long weeks, but then there are hundreds of Africans who had the same experience and they currently have no issues flying. I often speculate that it might be linked to the fact that nine times out of ten; plane crashes extinguish all life on board and although the so-called statistics say it is the safest form of travel, the facts remain that when a plane goes down, it is almost certainly accompanied by endless processions of flowers and hearses.

I realise I am starting to come across as dangerously macabre with my analysis, but let’s be frank. Is there anything about flying in the Nigerian airspace that fills you with confidence? Is it the constant rickety sounds coming from the pass-me-down Russian plane that our airline moguls supply for our precarious transits or the disastrous crashes which have peppered our aviation history? Come on people, how many of us looked at the pictures of the Hudson river landing and thought; If that was in 9JA, people go perish o! The whole situation, although a bit better these days, is a sad reflection of the administrators running our country. From the Nigerian Airways that shared a sterling crash-free record alongside Australia’s Quantas, to the sorry state we now find ourselves. Mind you, we have to thank God for the likes of Arik and Virgin.

As a perpetual air coward, I have refused to fly within Nigeria, preferring instead to drive the arduous hours to fulfil my appointments, but it is fast becoming obvious that I need to develop a backbone and confront my fear, as things seem to be improving and besides, who is going to wait for you to arrive at a meeting, when your competition can expeditiously fly in and sign on the dotted line? Having said all these, I have to share a story with you of a gentleman I encountered in 2002 on a nerve-jangling flight to Milan. My fear of flying paled in comparison to his.

Dan, as we all later came to know him, was the most nervous flyer known to man. Standing at least six foot four, the constant perspiration that poured forth from the poor man and the shrivelled posture he maintained in his seat, betrayed his big muscular frame.

‘What difference does it make that you are the captain, when this plane nosedives at forty thousand feet?’ he moaned in reply to the pilot introducing himself.

Fellow passengers shifted uneasily in their seats, but I just accepted my fate - the bloke was sat next to me! He stared at me for a while and asked if I was ‘flying sacred’, he thought this was funny and seemed disappointed with my straight face.

Just when I thought he had calmed down, he again went into question mode.

‘Mate, can you tell me why a plane takes off from London, travels for God know how many hours, and then crashes on landing in some far flung place. Why can’t it just crash on take off, rather than tease people with the certainty of landing?’ he moaned, shaking his head in disgust.

About twenty terrifying questions later, I had enough.

I found myself begging God for us to crash.

Too Much Money?

2009-03-04T09:39:00.001Z
Have you ever stopped and asked why human beings crave riches? Why do people of all races, religion, and creed relentlessly pursue accumulation? What is it within our mental constitution that convinces us that being Mr Moneybags is better than Mr Average? Is the maddening rat race that has now become the social currency of the Nigerian landscape really worth it? Is the ownership of five cars really prudent, when we possess just one arse? Would the guy in First-class die a more befitting death in the event of a plane crash? Why does your friend convince himself that he has to pay for more leg room, when he is only four feet eleven?

Maybe, it is just the satisfaction of a richer last meal before one meets their maker that justifies not sitting in Economy. Maybe, we crave more money to attract the opposite sex. Maybe, men subscribe to the Aristotle Onassis theory that ‘all the money in the world would mean nothing, if women did not exist.’ And if this were true, would it be fair to say, that the converse would be very unlikely for women? Can you really imagine rich women complaining about the futility of their riches, just because there are no men? I would have thought this would probably, be reason for them to lust for more cash!

So, why do we seem so preoccupied with wealth? Does the thirst for more come from an innermost human desire that yearns to be fulfilled? Is it inherent within us or is it a habit we pick up once we have been exposed to the benefits of possessions as against the disadvantages of lacking? Whatever the reasons that lie behind the conundrum, I believe one thing is self-evident. It is better to have.

It is quite clear that what separates the offspring of the haves, from those of the have-nots, is opportunity and access. Almost everyone who will read this blog would know someone, who could have achieved a lot more with their life, if only they had the means. Also, I am confident you probably know someone who had it and wasted it all.

The one thing which we can hold as self-evident is that we cannot all be blessed with riches. Sometimes, I often wonder if this undeniable fact has seeped into the psyche of most Nigerians, as it seems most of us are prepared to consume ‘economic steroids’ to quicken our arrival at the finish line. Actually, Nigerians do not even recognise the finish line, as no amount is ever too much! It invariably promotes a vicious and dastardly cycle and maybe that is why those who have, will do anything to maintain their status, whilst those on their way up, will do anything to get to the Promised Land.

And you can take that to the bank!

Hole in One!

2009-03-03T10:31:00.007Z
The human mind is a complicated maze of emotions and no two are the same. The very thing that makes one sibling happy might make their sister or brother sad, irrespective of the fact that they share the same gene pool. I wonder if this is why I love sport, but have no time for golf. Far-fetched, I know, but I have creative licence.

I mean golf, what is it all about? I have observed with incredulity, as the so-called gentleman's sport has creeped successfully into all the crevices created by the 'great and good' classes in Nigeria and beyond. A well-to-do uncle of mine in one of his classic lines about the sport said; 'It's a great game for relaxing, exercise and you don't find belligerents anyway around you!' Don’t get me wrong golf heads, in fact, more power to you! There is just something about that game that gives you a sneaking suspicion that the Scotsman, who started it all, had the ‘Greta Garbo’ complex. You can just see him wanting to be left alone with his balls and holes. Okay, I suppose I am being harsh, but how do you justify a game that needs so much space to be played, when 100,000 people can fill the Nou camp and enjoy the beautiful game?

I comprehend the attractions of golf. I am not totally adverse to appreciating aspects of things I am not a fan of, and having lived in Sussex for over a decade, I have had the pleasure of visiting some truly beautiful golf courses, but you always end up wishing they donated some of the land to homeless projects. It is just so hard for me take the sport and those who play it seriously. My pet peeve, and the one thing that stretches my patience, is the nouveau riche; who having just been accepted to their local golf club, morph into Fuzzy Zoeller overnight. Also, I am at a loss as why there is so much made of the fact that one partakes in the game. I have friends who have developed the habit over the years and I always try to stiffle my laughter when they justify their habit by stressing most business decisions are made on golf courses. A lot of big decisions are also made in whorehouses and strip bars, but you never see anyone claiming to have memberships of those establishments. Okay, I went too far there, but I once again take refuge under the creative licence roof.

Saying that, issues still persist. Unlike most sports, I have always viewed golf as a divisive tool. That is why I still believe that Tiger Woods missed a trick when he shied away from taking a tougher stance, when he subject to derogatory racial comments - somehow, I think he forgets that his father who literally 'made' him, began the quest for a golf prodigy because he was racially insulted on a golf course years ago! Those of you who have followed the game for two decades or more nouveau riche need not comment) will remember that segregated courses were all the rage a few years ago. I still remember with comical relish, the story of the affluent blacks in Atlanta, who having suffered from the subtle ‘whites only’ rule, decided to build their own course complete with a massive sign saying; ‘the only thing white here are the balls!’ Of course they had to eventually take it down.

Taking off my negative hat though, I have to say any game enjoyed by the likes of Samuel L Jackson, Michael Jordan and Bill Clinton, must have some special aspects to it. Although, I would wish Nigerian leaders would concentrate on the country's real problems rather than try to play copycat. We have serious issues and besides, it’s just the land thing that gets me. We don't have enough for housing and agriculture, so we don't damn well have enough for a bloody game! Let’s face it; no matter how complicated the golf addicts try to make the game, with their weather reports, types of iron and wood, it all began with a man basically trying to get his balls in a hole.

I thought that was a natural instinct!

Greater than we Realise....

2009-03-02T11:32:00.009Z
Philip Emeagwali - Nigerian Inventor

Charles, my childhood friend was in one of his dark moods when he visited me last week.

‘Why are we so backward as a people?’ He barked.

‘We are?’ I asked sarcastically, having faced similar conundrums from ‘Professor Charles’ in the past.

‘I think so. You know one of my white colleagues actually asked me about Black achievement outside sport and I found myself floundering as usual. I mean, what have we contributed to the world?’

Charles was clearly agitated. His small head swivelled from side to side conveying his frustrations.

‘It’s the same thing back home, no one of any meaningful substance. Even our people in the States are too busy peddling drugs and rapping.’

I dared to reply. ‘Rappers make a lot of money and the hip-hop industry, which is quite black, is doing well.’ My voice tapered into a cautious whisper.

Charles was having none of it.

‘Tell me something concrete! What have we brought to the table of races?’

‘The table of races?’ I asked.

‘Yes! You know it’s a metaphor for the world.’ He hissed.

‘Anyway Charles, are you on the Internet at home?

‘Of course, don’t tell me we invented that!’ He yelled.

I ignored his truculent wit and went on to make a suggestion.

‘When you get home, can you get on the net and call me straightaway.’

Thirty minutes later he was on the phone.

‘Ok. I’m connected. What next?’

‘Can you get onto Google?’

‘Done it,’ he replied impatiently.

‘Can you search for Black inventors and inventions?’ I requested.

Charles descended into raucous laughter.

‘Black inventions! Are you mad? Ok, done!’

His voice trailed away and then returned with a boom.

‘A black man invented the cellular phone! You need to see this list. What? Traffic lights, refrigerator, elevator, air conditioning unit, golf tee, golf tee? And those bastards wouldn’t let me join their stuck-up golf club! Gas mask, Lawnmower, Guitar, Typewriter and Peanut Butter? You are kidding me? What have blacks achieved indeed? Oh, they are all going to get it!’ He shouted excitedly.

‘Charles maybe you should be the one getting it, for not knowing all this. I mean, you are black.’

‘Fountain pen, Stethoscope, Fire escape ladder.’ His voice rose and fell.

It was obvious Charles was in full flow, so I decided to put him on hands-free.

Ten minutes later, he was still mumbling to himself.

For more Black inventors and their inventions, check out the following link;

http://www.blackinventor.com/

Silence of the Damned....

2009-02-27T09:22:00.007Z
As Robert Mugabe’s bloody and stubborn hands, slip inch by inch from power, his, will be a life marked with utter defiance of Western powers and an utter disregard of his detractors. A so-called proud nationalist and patriot, Mugabe was once the darling of the West, but his moves against the white farmers, permanently put paid to that.

There are not too many Zimbabweans who would openly condone the President’s actions, but I have spoken to some who (off the record) will tell you how much they admire the man’s anti-western stance. They recount legendary stories of his time in jail under the government of Ian Smith, of how he was a proud and obstinate inmate, who was insubordinate to the end. They strain under his leadership, but view some of his actions as a continuum in his complete disregard of colonial powers.

Personally, I do not see the difference between Mugabe and many of the dictators we have had in Nigeria. They all oversee economic mismanagement and the subsequent improvishment of their people, whilst they acquire staggering undeserved wealth. The difference I guess is the amount of white lives Mugabe has either destroyed or taken. He has broken the last taboo and forgotten the unwritten rule; one white life equates fifty black ones, at least. I suppose that explains why Nigerian leaders rarely come in for Western criticism; until the ongoing Niger Delta crisis, very few white lives have been threatened or for that matter taken in our 'troubled and politically instable' land.

The issue of double standards never stops rearing its ugly head though. I remember the vitriolic British media’s criticism, directed towards Jacques Chirac, when he was pictured shaking hands with Mugabe, at an international conference in France a few years ago. Where were these people, when Mrs Thatcher did more or less the same, when she invited PW Botha to the UK, in the face of international condemnation?

Botha had been personally responsible for the displacement, torture and deaths of so many blacks in his country, yet the recrimination was painfully silent. Although, we were told that she had invited him, to discuss reform and the potential release of Mandela, I wonder if they had time to discuss Dennis’ business concerns in South Africa.

Yes, African leaders are the poor masses' worst nightmare and we can not wholly place reponsibility for our condition on the West, although it would help if Western banks and governments refuse unaccountable wads of cash, ending up in their unquenchably thirsty coffers. I point this out because it does sound a bit rich (excuse the pun), to partake in a nefarious process and then puff out your chest in vitriolic condemnation when your partners have been exposed.

The truth is this; there are rules to the game of systematically raping and looting an African country's wealth. You need to embrace what is called 'Western Love'. Mugabe should have understood that game. To get ‘Western Love’, he should have romanced the white farmers and continue to eliminate the mainly black opposition. At least that way, he would have preserved his access to foreign accounts from Zurich to London.

And the Western condemnation – I predict, painfully silent.

Ab Initio

2009-02-26T11:35:00.003Z
Someone once told me that 99% of humans use only 30% of their inherent potential.

Unfortunately for me, this was in retort to a statement I had made regarding the colour of number plates in the UK. I had, after ten years of inhabiting that isle, just realised that a vehicle’s front and rear plates have to be different colours. It was such obvious information, but like most things that are right in front of one’s eyes, I missed it.

The gentleman who so eloquently qualified my ignorance, without making me feel inferior, went on to advise me on the need to extend oneself, particularly as God had entrenched certain undeniable gifts within us. He opined that Einstein, Bell and Michelangelo would have been unworthy of note, had it not been their zeal to push themselves and their visions, to the limit, although, he was gracious enough to accept the individuals in question, had their unfair share of natural intelligence.

That salient point notwithstanding, it was now crystal clear that I had to take my ‘fair’ share of intelligence and broaden it as much as was mentally and physically possible. I was advised to read voraciously and conduct simple mental exercises like; continuously adding, subtracting and multiplying numbers (no paper please). Also, memorising car number plates (I wasn’t sure whether this was just a humorous inclusion) and of course, telephone numbers.

I do all these, to this day and considering the fact that alcohol has been proven to kill brain cells, I am living proof that the exercises work. Okay, there are going to be the cruel jibes from my mean friends, who are now likely to say things like; ‘no Castro, you are still as stupid and drunk as you were in University!’

Seriously though, my father passed on a year after he enlightened me. His thoughts stay with me and the older I grow, the wiser his sayings become. If the truth be known, the greatest mistakes that I have made in my short life have been closely linked to my choosing to ignore some of his worthy advice. He always used to say Nigeria was a perfect example of a country where inherent potential was definitely underused and talent, criminally wasted. Of course the evidence is overwhelmingly in his favour, even nine years after his demise. Crazy thing, but my father like most fathers of his generation, was fearful for his children and our peers. I wonder if their worries have not been manifested right in front off our eyes – just compare our achievements with what our parents had accomplished at our age (I am 42 by the way!).

Having come from him, I wished I had understood that he was my beginning. That is why today, I am determined to increase my 30%. I just hope my capacity for the other 70 hasn’t gone with all the unheeded advice.

One day. I hope Nigeria does the same....

The Death of the Gentleman....

2009-02-23T11:08:00.007Z

I believe it is prudent to begin today's entry by acknowledging the seven day gap created by my lack of blogging activity. Basically, I was on enforced leave, to celebrate the fact that I had successfully completed another year on earth. Friday the 20th was my birthday and unlike during other years, I was compelled to say my thanks and reluctantly take a break...so, there we are.

Of course, even though my keyboard was on sabbatical, my brain wasn't and at least 10% of my celebral activity has been quietly spent trying to understand a phenomenon I have repeatedly witnessed in modern-day Nigeria. Unfortunately, I couldn't comment on whether this trend afflicts other countries within our challenged continent, as my travel from the Cape to Cairo is shamefully limited! But as someone who grew up in the continent's most populous country, I can rant all day and all night, when I observe any aberrations in our social fabric.

So people, tell me, am I the only one who has witnessed the lack of etiquette amongst the so called middle-class in Nigeria? I isolate this group because like in most countries around the world, they are responsible for guiding the masses in social nuance and ultimately occupy the jobs in the civil service, which in Nigeria's case, is the Banking industry. It is really eye-opening going to the average financial institution in our major cities and coming across the suited and booted custodians of our monetary systems, who on their best day cannot muster the necessary decorum to conduct a sinple transaction over the counter. In some cases, it even gets worse when you have an issue which has to be attended to by senior management! And as you would expect when the centre fails, the whole society begins to replicate low standards.

An abiding memory of mine, was at one of the many eateries that decorate the surburb called Victoria Island. I had just finished some arduous negotiations with some business partners from Namibia, when we had the unfortunate experience of wanting to exit the establishment at the same time as some well dressed bank officials(their ties gave them away!) wanted to gain entry. Of course, the obligatory security personnel opened the door for us (the ladies in our entourage led), but it seemed the bankers had different ideas! Without trying to earn the irk of the whole industry, shall we just say; a scene developed where a lot of shoulder-barging and shoving took up the next minute or so. In the end, the ladies wisely stepped aside for the marauding band of five executives(?).

This, for the observing eye, is not an isolated incident. The general social behaviour along with our moral compass, has unfortunately spun out of control and all you have left are a skeletal minority, who deem it fit to acknowledge the necessity of simple manners. Correct me if you believe I am wrong, but isn't it still the case that we all men still came out of a woman? Granted we have our traditional beliefs and our agreed place for the fairer sex, but as long as we embrace Western systems and attire, we might as well stretch to certain values and convince the world that we know 'what time it is'.

I could go on and on, giving you a legion examples to justify the topic of my latest moan, but I feel a word is always enough for the wise....this is my story....what is yours?

Ashes to Ashes...

2009-02-13T11:04:00.005Z
I was involved in a heated conversation two weekends ago, where but for the introduction of some good old-fashioned tact, there could have been blood! The popping veins and raised decibels of the verbal pugilists displayed the passion felt about the controversial topic. Can anyone guess what the subject was? No, okay...I will help you.

It was simply; 'Does Barack Obama smoke?'

One never realises how much love people have for an individual until an area of contention emerges and the ever-ready grey cells get engaged in the mother of all arguments. There was actually a moment during the epic debate, where I literally feared that if I could not produce any evidence to back up my claim that the 'messiah' did smoke, I was in grave danger of not walking out of the bar with my dentition intact!

It seems discussions about the little stick can grow unexpectedly into passionate wrestling matches, as witnessed during the battle to ban indoor smoking in the United Kingdom and United States. Of course, naturally, the non-smokers won as no matter how much one loves dragging on the deadly weed, the overwhelming evidence that passive smoking is an extremely hazardous sport, destroyed any arguments about freeedom that the Smoking League had.

So, as the conversation petered out and the hostile voices became friendlier, I cautiously began another discussion regarding the banning of indoor public smoking in Nigeria for starters and probably Africa in the long run. I was surprised to find myself in a minority of one, arguing that the Federal government could pass the neccessary laws if it wanted to. Everyone, despite the fact we all complained bitterly that our clothes always stunk of tobacco after a night out drinking, seemed to think there was no political will to push through the legislation. A clearly sozzled friend was more indignant;

'How can you ban smoking indoors, when the President smokes like a chimney? All these governors, even the good ones like our dear Mr Fashola, smoke all day long!'

As you can imagine, I had no reply to that, neither did I want to re-ignite the Obama thing. I was tempted though, as a statement like; 'the President of the US smokes and that country has banned indoor public smoking,' would have been golden at that moment, but running the tip of my tongue around my dentition soon stopped that thought. But, the issue as comical as it might have appeared on tht fateful night, has a serious thread to it.

The effect of smoking on the African continent is to say the least, damaging. Unfortunately, the profits made by the likes of British American Tobacco means we are all involved in a long and brutal battle to limit the number of our brothers and sisters that we lose to the various forms of resulting cancer. In certain parts of Nigeria as all over Arica, there are smokers as young as 10! The idea is to get the youngsters into the habit of a lifetime and ensure eternal customers and profit.

This is my take on the issue. Even though it is obvious that banning indoor public smoking will not stop the habit dead in it's track, it has been shown that the numbers of smokers does get reduced with the ban, as witnessed in the countries where it has been effected. There is no possible harm in a starting a bandwagon to install a smoke-free ambience in our bars, restaurants and cinemas. It's what is generally known as a no brainer. The cleansed air also opens up those places for the safe habitation of children.

So, if you don't want to do it for those of us who are grown and long in the tooth, could you just consider it for the kids?

Things will not Fall Apart!

2009-02-12T22:37:00.007Z

I always reflect that the singular most significant thing my parents ever did in my life, was to put me into Federal Government College. Okay, I was the one who passed the exams (with flying colours of course!), but they could have chosen not to let me enjoy those laid back boarding schools days. Having said that though, my appreciation is not propelled by the amount of fun I had in secondary school, rather, it is borne in the fact that for the first time in my relatively short life, I was surrounded by members of every ethnic group Nigeia could muster. I found myself in the laboratory of life where your conclusions are not shaped by the slightly askew uncle, brother, mother or father, but by cold, clear and clinical evidence, gathered by everyday living and rubbing shoulders with people who made up my majestic country.

As is the case all over Africa, I was brought up in a household where my elders innocently and casually made 'politically incorrect' statements about everyone who spoke a language separate from ours. The Hausas were uneducated dunces, the Igbos could not be trusted and the average Mid-westerner was steeped in an ancestry of armed robbery. We, the Yorubas, as you would expect were perfect, but suffered from being apparently held back by our parasitical tribal neighbours. Nothing was ever our fault and Nigerian history, at least through our myopic eyes showed how we never took the wrong turn....yeah...right! Anyway, back to my school.

FGCL as we fondly called it, was one hell of a melting pot. In the year of 77, we had students from every state of the country. Yes, all 19 states! I was surrounded with the likes of Emeka Chikelu, Odaro Omonuwa, John Kpanabo, Emmanuel Madaki, Winston Onoja, and so on and so forth. For the first time, I could make up my mind on what traits 'other' Nigerians had, without the unrequested colourful advice which my kinsmen were always quick to provide. It was an eye-opening experience!

The Hausas turned out to be quite clever people with a penchant for hanging together and keeping their unit very tight. The Igbos were wiser than their young ages and always did well in school, also, they never broke their word and always had your back. The folks from Bendel were honest, intelligent, dogged and extremely sociable. I was living in the real Project Nigeria and all the tribal negativity was not holding up. All I found were fellow students sharing stories of how their folks had also fed them tales of the conceited Yorubas, who were never to be trusted. It all began to sound like a broken record!

Here's the thing......there are no reasons for ethnic groups to hate each other, nor do they have any evidence to remain disunited and at each other's necks. The British have gone now and the colonial days of 'divide and rule' are long gone(see their map above). The Yorubas should not condemn the Igbos as money loving Jews who can kill their relatives for money, the Igbos should desist from that age old campaign of blaming the Yorubas for their unsuccessful bid for seccession and the Hausas should not be complaining, full stop. Without sounding like an Obama clone, we all should realise that together, rather than apart, is where our strength lies. We have all lost people in the cause of the emancipation of the eternally cchallenged nation of ours.

It is time to erase the false lines we have drawn around ourselves and begin to see the potential in working for the same thing. If an Igbo president is to emerge by 2015 (that's my prediction), then Igbos have to embrace the Yoruba and Hausas, without whom that eventuality will never see the light of day. We all have to work towards that unity, so we can have a reversal of the wonderful poem that graces the beginning of Chinua Achebe's classic;

'The falcon will hear the falconer.
Things will not fall apart, the centre will hold.
Mere Anarchy will not be loose upon the world.'

Some might call me a dreamer, but did you ever think we would have a black man at 1600 Pennsylvania?

The Return of Walter Rodney

2009-02-10T09:12:00.002Z

If a picture ever spoke a thousand words, then I guess the image above has been nattering away for quite some time now. I do not want to lead anyone into any conclusions, but I guess that would have been a futile exercise, as everything you can see in this Kodak moment speaks for itself.

As the primitive quest for wealth acquisition sullies the land of our forefathers, Nigerians, unlike any other people in the world seem to be suffering from a severe case of historical amnesia. We seem determined to recreate a time when we bowed and scraped to a fair-skinned 'master' race, whom we have decorated with unrealistic awe.

The recent advent of the IndoChina people to our shores have left us divided into two camps; those who believe it is a good thing and those who do not. Granted, if we cannnot develop our own infrastructure to guarantee our people a reasonable level of existence, we might as well bring someone else in to have a go. The issue here though, is whether the so-called imported experts are actually helping the local economy and spreading the proceeds around.

Having lived for over two decades in the West, I have observed a disturbing trend amongst the Asian communities, when it comes to their economic relationship with their Black neighbours. I am open to correction here, but can anyone tell me when they have ever seen Asian consumers patronising Black businesses. Okay, I know our businesses are not as widespread or even as robust as theirs, but believe me when I tell you that the non-patronage of our businesses is a conscious cultural behaviour. Most might baulk at this, and I am aware it is a hard pill to swallow, but I seriously doubt if Indian and Chinese people even see us as human.

Our economic soirees with them will only end in pain, as they will always extract more out of us than we out of them. It is no coincidence that when the Chinese do business with you in far-flung Africa, they bring every item under the sun with them, even the water they drink! They refuse to engage the local community and always ensure they suck the host environment dry! It's just like when you visit one of their restaurants, where you go in and are treated with clinical, but distant service, spend a lot of money and you find yourself starving a few hours later.

I have never felt comfort with the way Nigerian administrators run our country, but that discomfort is severely extended when we take an already malnourished country and put it's resources in the hands of bloodsuckers. Yes, my language is harsh and my logic untested, but I am guided by pure human instinct. Afterall, no matter how propsperous Nigeria becomes and no matter how many contracts the Chinese decide to give us in their country (as unforeseeable as this might seem), I cannot see a day when the image above will be reversed.It is time for us to shed our 'colonial complex' and fully comprehend that there is a good reason why Asians are adept in the business of 'takeaways'.

My fervent prayer is that we collectively realise our precarious situation before it is too late. Otherwise, our children's generation will have their own classic; 'How Asia underdeveloped Africa'.

A word is enough for the wise......

Let there be Light!

2009-02-09T18:42:00.002Z
As a recent convert to the 'I believe in Nigeria' religion currently enveloping thousands within the global Diaspora community, I cannot escape the scourge of that one thing we all believe will move our sleeping giant of a country to the next level.

The issue of electricity in Nigeria is fast becoming a cringe-inducing pain in everyone's proverbial backside! How does one defend the darkness thrust upon the nation by a selfish cabal, who apparently prosper more in our opaque blanket of misery? What would be one's proud rostrum to stand upon in an international debate, when we falsely proclaim our inflated status whilst the cities of our 41 year old country are festooned by noise pollution generated by imported diesel and petrol robots, that share our gardens with the bicycles of the young generation?

The alarming thing of course is this; if the likes of IBB and OBJ, who clearly know the country inside out, cannot install a new age of constant electric supply, what hope does UYD have? Also, never mind giving us light, but can the people responsible for fulfilling this requirement please enlighten us on their challenges? I would like to believe the 'a problem shared is a problem halved' theory also applies to things Nigerian. Right now, Nigerians just want this one issue resolved, even if it is all this government does!

We are waiting.......