tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3300938732036419564.post8351832010864937549..comments2024-02-10T11:31:57.758+00:00Comments on THE STATE OF PLAY: Roger That!Kanmihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09012105937726437603noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3300938732036419564.post-88380076754321024942009-03-07T19:04:00.000+00:002009-03-07T19:04:00.000+00:00Thanks or your comments Captain.I will visit www.f...Thanks or your comments Captain.<BR/><BR/>I will visit www.fearofflying.com/wordpress.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3300938732036419564.post-41214257013828951812009-03-06T14:37:00.000+00:002009-03-06T14:37:00.000+00:00We all get a certain amount of built-in ability to...We all get a certain amount of built-in ability to deal with uncertainty. We get anxious about the outcome. Some of us handle it better than others. We therapists believe it has a lot to do with whether enough feelings of security was built into the relationship between the young child and the caregivers. <BR/><BR/>Though most of us look back and think of early life as secure, there are major differences which, because we don't have comparative experience, don't recognize.<BR/><BR/>The major difference, we believe, is whether or not the caregivers "tuned in" enough to actually feel what you were feeling. Or, whether they tried to intellectually figure it out.<BR/><BR/>A child who develops in an environment where there is a feeling connection from the caregivers, also feels the connection and develops security.<BR/><BR/>For the child where the connection is intellectual, the feeling connection is unknown. Though unknown, it is nevertheless missed because we are genetically encoded to have feeling connections.<BR/><BR/>Fast forward to adulthood. When the feeling connection and the security that comes with it is not solidly established for us, we have anxiety problems. So, we make up for feelings of uncertainty by trying to establish certainty. We use control. We try to take the uncertainty out. Still, we want a way out; and escape route.<BR/><BR/>If we have both control and escape, we feel synthetically secure.<BR/><BR/>But when flying, these two "security blankets" (control and escape) are taken away.<BR/><BR/>We, thus, are thrown back to only the built in simi-security of early childhood. It isn't enough. We panic.<BR/><BR/>Having worked with this both as an airline captain and as a therapist, I have found ways to fix the problem. If you would like to read more about it, there is a library of articles on it at www.fearofflying.com/wordpressCapt Tom Bunn LCSWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06795997945261649464noreply@blogger.com