Saturday, 2 March 2013

White Smoke, Black Pope and Red Shoes?

As Peter Turkson of Ghana leads the odds (3/1) for becoming the next Papal father with almost every bookmaker in town, is it time for us to begin to imagine the unthinkable?

A Turkson spoof poster in front of the Papal Basilica of Saint Mary Major in Rome 
Let's be honest with each other, a Black pope is even a bigger deal than having a Black US president. As Barack Obama once attested to....a piece of paper which was passed to him during his inauguration confirmed what he has always believed: the pope is one of the 3 most powerful people in the world. Obama was informed the US president is Number 4!

I bet you want to know the other 2.....not telling. You will have to read this blog religiously and I will bless you with that info.

In any case, by that power list calculation, we may be about to have two people with black blood in the Top 4 for the first and last time ever! I am confident this fact  will not be lost on the Sistine-resident Conclave, as they possess members with the most detailed encyclopedic mental rolodexes.

Besides, appointing a pope is serious business and the Italians, being big in serious business will push as much as possible against the first negroid African pope (yes, the previous three all had Caucasian features!). That's why I fear Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone being the next ranked favourite, leaves me fearing for Turkson's chances.

But seriously....a Black Pope? Can you imagine the Italian gangster movies now having to avoid using words like; Mulignan and Moolie? that will be interesting. We'll probably get a few people 'crossing the carpet' to other Christian groups and any Tea Party Catholics will just feel their world has ended....tee hee.

I must say though, the whole Vatican hulaboo has opened my eyes to many things. I now know my Catholic friends are actually a more prickly bunch than I initially thought, although with so many Irish faithful within their ranks, I suppose their collective sense of humour is still guaranteed for decades to come.

And if anyone had any doubts about the intact sense of humour, enter Cardinal Dolan (American-Irish member of the conclave - himself 33/1), who reassured us earlier this week on CNN's Amanpour,  that the papal red shoes were not a Prada creation:

"The Devil might have worn Prada.....but not this pope."

Papal shoemaker Adriano Stefanelli, with red loafer as worn by H.H. Pope Benedict XVI 

In my modest opinion, any movement that is led by someone who wears red shoes is clearly not worried about outside critique.

So the battle (sorry, the voting) begins soonest and a word of warning for the brothers and sisters out there...loads of people have been named favourite and went on to lose out. As Cardinal Barragan of Mexico once said:

"He who enters the conclave as a possible pope, comes out a cardinal."

Of course there are some entertaining odds for those who have more money than sense:

Oprah - 2000/1

Berlusconi - 2500/1

Mario Balotelli - 5000/1

Hey, don't laugh. Stranger things have happened, right? I mean who knew Benedict XVI would go out like that?!

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