Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Grey Smoke and and Sure Bets

As the world holds its collective breath in anticipation of news from Rome, it appears there have been some chimney malfunction at the Sistine Chapel. A cloud of greyish-looking smoke a few hours ago threw a large number of novices, like me, into frenzied speculation about the goings-on within those sacred walls.

A friend, equally bereft in the finer things concerning Catholic life, wondered if this indicated there had been a Latin pope! Apparently, in his little mind, there is a good reason why the confirmatory smoke has always been white.....yes you've guessed it....the popes are always white!

He did go on to give us his theory as no why a black pope will never emerge...and because I have confirmed (see above) this guy is a simpleton, you must already know by now, that he somehow related the black smoke, which confirms no pope has been chosen to the veracity of his theory. Honestly, some mothers do 'ave 'em!

Of course the Vatican has been kind enough to educate us the whiteness of the smoke will not be in doubt when a pontiff is chosen.

Let the smoking begin - Conclave Cardinals feeling the ongoing tension

As you can imagine, police forces worldwide, especially in areas where there are significant black populations are gearing up with their Triage and Incident planning, in anticipation of a roaring outburst of emotion that will sweep our streets in the event of a black pope. Two of the world's five most powerful people will be that is definitely a cause for hysterical celebration....of course, in the end it will  be an occurrence full of sound and fury...signifying nothing.

But you know we love a good party and if we could celebrate OJ getting off, you can just imagine what we have in store when it is a truly positive occasion. Obama's election celebrations will pale in comparison for sure.

In other related developments, some people walked away with tons of cash yesterday, having correctly predicted Barca would defeat Milan 4-0. Apparently, this was not just guesswork, as the Blaugrana had also defeated teams by the same scoreline during the 1958 and 1978 that is undoubtedly divine inspiration.

My only grouse rests with the fact I had not shown enough faith by laying down a few you think it will be a good idea to put a few pounds on the conclave repeating their voting pattern in those two years and putting my well earned money on a white pope being elected?


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