So, some Tories are out to get David Cameron and replace the Prime Minister with, wait for it....Windsor MP, Adam Afriyie.
And? I hear you ask. Maybe, I should spell the name for clarity; A-F-R-I-Y-I-E. No? Nothing? Oh well, since you are going to be a spoilsport, I better let you in on the secret....he is black!!!
Try not to choke on your cornflakes, this is 2013 Britain....our heroes come in a variant of colours ;-)
Actually, he is 'post-racial not black' (his own words). Son of a Ghanaian father and a British mother, Adam is probably one of those mixed-race people like Tiger Woods, who detest people referring to them as black.
To be fair, I suppose it's only fair that the 50-50 blood is acknowledged. We wouldn't call mixed-race people white, so why call them black, right?
Actually, it's a free world and I don't really care what Mr Afriyie calls himself, as long as he does not try to introduce us to another word like 'Caubliasian' (this was Tiger's gift to us during one of his Oprah confessionals!). To the uninitiated, that stands for Caucasian, Black and Asian...Lol!
Poor Tiger...yes, we know you are very good at putting your balls in a hole (well, several ugly holes), but you are such a muppet off the course!!!
Anyhoo, back to the matter at hand, some Conservative backbenchers (that's another word for bitter people who have no influence within their ruling party), have got together and decided to truncate Cameron's time at the top. Apparently, Mr Afriyie is the Tory Obama and he will be a lifesaver for their dwindling political fortunes.
Talking of fortunes, it turns out AA is a self-made man with £100 Million dangling in his back pocket! Damn shon...that's some dough and considering our current cabinet is 80% millionaires, he will definitely fit in.
Wow...young, rich and black (sorry, post-racial). The combination is so intoxicating and you can just imagine the likes of Tinnie Tempah, Dizzee and Labyrinth, coming onboard and making the Tories cool again....not. Aaaah, by the way, for those of you wondering what the man of the moment looks like (you know you are), here's a pic of him and his missus.
|Adam Afriyie and the missus|
He looks every bit the Tory....doesn't he? Even down to the blue suit! His wife is cute too....although, she is worryingly in red....Labour alert!
Well, I wish you luck Sir with your leadership plot. Much as I would like to see you become the British Obama, I would rather place my chips on Chuka Umunna, Labour MP for Streatham.
Nothing personal, I just want Nigeria to pip Ghana to the Downing Street finishing line...major bragging rights bro...major!