Wednesday, 30 January 2013

The Art of giving away your Wedge.

At last, it appears that RIM has gathered the necessary courage to release their new phone, the Z10. I especially like their motto for this new addition; "built to keep you moving."

Because if there is anything Research In Motion needs to do at this very moment, it is to keep moving. Apple and Samsung are albatrosses around its neck, and any misstep will mean goodnight sweet berry. 63 million handsets sold by Samsung to RIM's 12 million, shows the ever-increasing disparity.

If I were RIM's CEO, Thorsten Heins, the very first thing I will do is don my charity hat and lower prices for this handset in Africa and Asia. Those two continents are the most pragmatic when it comes to saving money and have more or less carried RIM on their shoulders for the last two years. They deserve some payback just for that.

Granted, they have done so because of the BBM feature (which is now the official gossip medium in Nigeria and China), but who cares why people buy the phones, as long as you can rub Apple and Samsung noses in it? I must say the news of Alicia Keys being made your 'Global Creative Director,' was a neat move, but lets concentrate on basic numbers for now. If you need any assistance with the local knowledge in Nigeria, may I suggest you call the chaps at Guinness.

A word is enough for the wise, Herr Heins!

Talking about wise charitable moves, just when you thought Africa would remain the continent that struggled to produce charitable individuals like Paul Newman, Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, a bright piece of news has shone through from the Cape. Patrice Motsepe, South Africa's richest man has decided to give half his fortune to the needy.

Inspired by the efforts of 70 other billionaires worldwide, Motsepe has started his own foundation and also decided to join forces with the likes of Buffet and Gates in their The Giving Pledge campaign started in 2010.

As a Nigerian, obviously our competitive nature means I am pissed off we did not get there first, but lets be honest, 50% is a lot! It will probably mean one will lose one's status as Nigeria's richest individual and that is not something we like to do. Also, once your rivals know you are half the man or woman you used to be, they could move and crush you.

So, Aliko Dangote, even though we all know you really want to join these billionaires and give away half of your dough, perhaps it's better to hold on until you become President. Of course, you could always say you will give the money away and then renege on the promise.....we are so used to the ruling elite not delivering on their promises in Nigeria, so you can be rest assured we will not bat an eyelid.

Saying that, don't be caught sleeping sir. You know how the ethnic issue is in Naija.....don't let the likes of Folorunsho Alakija and Jim Ovia sneak in and join The Giving Pledge before you! We are the masters at thunder-stealing and you need to be watchful at all times.

One country that definitely needs to be watchful when it comes to their Wonga, is Zimbabwe. Apparently, as of last week, the governments coffers only had $217 (£138)! Damn, it turns out Old Man Mugabe does not trust anyone with the country's funds, so he transferred it all into his. He has since given the Central Bank £30M, so the country can keep about keeping your eye on the purse strings and being charitable at the same time.

I wish we had this type of benevolent embezzlement all over Africa, although I doubt it will ever spread to Nigeria. I know charity is meant to begin at home, but walahi, once that money walks out of the nation's coffers, you will grow grey waiting for its return!

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